Welcoming the new addition to the family

Well my dishwasher took a dive.

It hasn't been washing the dishes well since Christmas.  I shouldn't really complain.  It is 10 years old and runs twice a day between the kids, the family and the daycare.  She has been good to me and never once a repair except for a missing screw. Every day I turned her on and she happily hummed through her job and didn't once ask for a thing or complain.

Todd, being raised by a woman and no men in the house, wanted to whip out the check book and run to Homedepot at the first sign of a dirty spot.  But me, being raised by a man who fixed anything that didn't move faster than him, said "Lets try and fix it". I mean after all we had no clue what was actually wrong with it.  I didn't grow up in a disposable household. Things were taken care of and nurtured and fixed and nurtured some more. So after much whining and a lot of stalling he tried repairing it.

It didn't work

So we finally called the repair man in.  He laughed at me.  Said Todd and were backwards.  Usually the man fixes and the woman grab the checkbook.  Then he sadly broke the news........ The pump was going and as hard as the dishwasher was trying to pump out the dirty and bring in the clean, she just couldn't do it anymore. She was slowly and sadly shutting down. And the cost for repair was more than replacement. It was time for the old girl to go.

Todd gave me the "I told you so" look and happily ran for the car with checkbook in hand.

It took two days to pick the dishwasher. Another fours days to deliver.  Another 4 days before anyone had time to start putting it in.  Two grown men and two more days to install.  And the best part?  I don't like it! 

Thats right.  Thinking on returning it. I am sure that Todd and my neighbor will be thrilled when I tell them to haul it away back to the salesman that had the nerve to sell it to me in the first place.  No sorry.... Correction.  Sell it to TODD.  See Todd picked out this lovely appliance. I like google. I like to read reviews.  I don't often purchase things or go places without looking up reviews.  Todd teased me about this and ended up picking this dishwasher.  Perhaps he should have googled. 

The contractor grade old one cleaned my dishes for 10 years.  It fairly dried them well too. She was noisy but in a house full of kids and barking dogs, one hardly noticed.  This one my dishes are soaked.  It takes three hours or more to wash them. I have to put it on the highest water heat setting and it still isn't drying them.  I am not sure how this is energy efficient.  And I don't like having to dry the dishes after paying an arm and leg for a brand new dishwasher that should be doing it for me. 

Momma is not pleased.  And this little lady might be seeing the inside of the discount section of HomeDepot.

So.....welcome....for not..........Miss GE dishwasher.  But you better get your act together or your days are numbered!

Something to be said for the old. 

Gee thanks for the fun times!

As if I didn't have enough to do daily, Delaney's school thought it might be 'fun' to start a puppet theater.  Each child had to bring in their favorite book and make a puppet based on the book. 

I knew I was in trouble when they asked the children to bring in the books to approve them.  They never came back.  The teacher is keeping them in a bin to read through each book.  They will be returned later.  Only.....you have to make a puppet based on the book......and you don't have the book!

I am not sure WHO thought this was going to be fun but it surely was not a parent!

After panic eased, I took a deep breath and thought that Delaneys puppet should be fairly easy.  Her book is "I am a rainbow" by Dolly Parton.  The book doesn't really have a main character.  Each color is a new character telling about how the color on the page makes them feel.

Time to rethink.  I don't have the book.  I don't have a main character anyway.  What to do?

Off I ran to the store for supplies....eyes....a sock.....hair......etc etc etc.

We began our 'fun' project this weekend.  Delaney painted rainbow stripes on the arm of the puppet.  The rest is obviously beyond Delaney's craft skills so today Mommy gets to piece it together.

I tried hot gluing the hair on.  Which didn't hold down each strand so I had to slip the puppet on my hand and sew the hair on with the other.  I hot glued on eyelashes and eyes.  Then painted on the nose and mouth which promises to be a challenge.  MY hand is not the same size as a 3rd grader and I fear that "Dollys" mouth might end up either INSIDE her mouth or on top of her face.  It is a sock so one can only hope it can be shifted around.  And because each childs hand would differ I opted not to include a tongue pretty much for the same reasons.

So here I sit....paint coated, hot glue gun burned looking at the Dolly puppet who is a rainbow.

They better be super happy cause I know I am.  I am FINALLY done my....um....I mean Delaneys homework!

Thumbs up school.  Thanks so much for the added activity.  It was so "FUN"! *insert eye roll here*

Now....to add or not to add Dolly boobs??????

Happy Birthdays Everywhere!

I am a little behind on posting Delaneys birthday pictures.  That poses a problem because now it is Ryans birthday and I am now jammed up on birthday wishes and pictures and all that fun stuff.  Only good thing is that I have no pictures of Ryans birthday yet....it is today and he is still in bed. I guess I could sneak in and snap a shot of the birthday boy but I am thinking he would not be very happy with me so to spare my life, I shall wait on birthday picture posting for Ryan!

Delaneys birthday party was, well, exactly two weeks ago and she had a blast!  I would love to show you 200 wonderful shots of glorious birthday celebration but it was in the dark skating rink and my camera is not the best so getting shots that were not blurry from moving 8 year olds or dark from dim rink lights is rare so you get what you get and know that you do not need to make an appointment for an eye check up.  It is totally me! I can continue to blame the camera but you will see I also took pictures at home and they are not much better. 

My sweet Delaney is offically 8 years old. I cannot understand where that time went! It seems to have skimmed by just as fast as the children in these pictures.......

HAPPY 8TH BIRTHDAY DELANEY! Mommy loves you!

AND......

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY RYAN!
Officially at 5:55 this morning you turned 20.  I remember the day like it was yesterday.  Not because of the whole birth process and all the pain mothers complain about...but because this was the day I first fell in love with the sweetest man in my life.  May you have many more blessed birthdays!

My sweet, sweet daughter

Delaney has a friend who she wants to come to her birthday party.  The little girl had broken her foot and since Delaney was having a skating party, was unsure if she should invite her friend as she didn't want her to feel bad because she couldn't skate.  I saw the mother and child at another birthday party and spoke with the mother.  Delaney was very pleased to hear she would be having her cast removed a week before the party and would be able to come.  Off they skipped happily together.....as much as a casted foot would allow.

What I immediately saw when I met this child was that she obviously has a lot of medical issues.  Her gait unsure.  Her face clearly showing bone structure abnormalities.  I, of course, said nothing but felt so sorry for the little girl who would grow up having problems.

What I found though as I watched them play was that Delaney didn't see any of that.  The only thing she has ever noticed was that she was missing a single finger on her one hand.  Not the facial abnormalities.  Not the gait.  Not the delays.  A simple single finger.

It reminded me of another little boy in school she is friends with.  I met him last year in the school hallway.  He is extremely handicapped and cannot walk.  Mainly wheelchair bound and shorter than the other children.  Delaney talked about him like he was her best friend.  He was cute.  He was kind.  He was her friend. They often played together on the school playground.

It reminded me of when we went to Ronald McDonald house to make a dinner and Delaney happily played with the children who were there for medical reasons.  Children without legs.  Children with a lot of handicaps. Children with medical issues beyond my understanding.  Never once did she shy away or question it.

It reminded me of Grams and who Delaney loved playing with her even in the mist of her dementia.  Or the older people in the assisted living with her who Delaney made friends with each visit. Elderly people who she laughed with, danced for and took their hands to walk with.

I joked often that I was going to rent Delaney out to nursing homes but the truth is, Delaney has a gift way beyond many children.  I realized my daughter sees something far beyond what we would focus on or see.  Nothing really seems to matter. She sees beyond the surface and just accepts.   This child coming to her birthday party was simply her friend.  They laughed and giggled together.  Delaney was so happy she would be able to come.  I came to see that Delaney has a special gift of simply loving someone for who they are.  The old, the senile, the handicapped, the person most would shy away from due to lack of understanding.  She simply.....

.........loves.

It is a special gift indeed.

How get rid of the energy of a puppy?

Have your 7yr old put on roller skates.  Hook the puppy to a leash and let them go around and around and around till they are both out of breath!

Peace!

What goes up......it pours. And all that jazzy stuff.

I woke this morning to the single beep of my fire alarm announcing to me at 4:30am that it was in need of batteries. Of course it could not wait until noon.  That would make life too boring.  I vaguely registered the announcement and rolled over to try and pretend I didn't hear it. Maybe it would go away if I pulled the blanket over my head and wished really hard. It came again. And again.  I was so tired that I probably could have actually fallen back to sleep through the beeps had it not been for the dog trying to cram her big body under my bed in a panic.

Cherokee does not like the fire alarm and the single beep set her into a run even though it wasn't its normal loud and long shrill.  But it was a warning she could not ignore and came running for help.  Under my bed.  Like it would protect her.  Maybe she was thinking if she hid under the blankets too it would go away.  She spent a good 15 min trying to dig her way under and as I lay there desperately trying to fall back to sleep I felt like I was on a vibrating bed as she shook under it.

I gave up and turned the news on. I sat there for a while watching in mind numbness a news anchor tell the daily report and I realized I never set my alarm clock.  Here I am awake, watching tv and am now a good 10 minutes late because I was waiting for it to go off.

I stumble out of bed and get Megan up and get myself ready.  The fire alarm is still beeping and Cherokee is now hiding in my shower.  I take time that I do not have to unplug the alarm if not for her sanity then for mine.  Silence.  I tell Cherokee she can come out of hiding.......just in time for another one down the hall to go off too.  I am now VERY VERY late.

I do not have time to sweep the snow that fell last night off my car to take Megan to the bus stop and she has to make a run for it.  I am now running myself to get Delaney up and lunch made before my 1st daycare arrival.  I didn't make it.

The arrivals are coming one after another along with a ton of Valentines bags and gifts and I am still elbow deep in peanut butter and chips.  I rush everyone in and out, slap the sandwich in the lunch box, throw the lunch box in the backpack and take a breath.  Only to have Delaney cry that her teachers gifts for Valentines day were not ready to go.

Now I am normally on the ball with things like that.  Gifts bought and packed and wrapped and waiting often weeks ahead of time.  Only the gift she told her teacher she was bringing was end of the school year gifts! Not Valentines Day. She is crying because she cannot go empty handed now so I am running to find anything remotely close to a Valentines gift bag in between door bell rings. I find some Snowman bags with hearts on them and grab those along with tissue paper and throw them in her back pack too just as the bus is pulling up.

Now one would think that was the end but oh no.  Not really.  That would make life too boring remember.

I have someones bottle bag leaking milk all over my kitchen table, chairs and floor.  I unpack another and find one mom switched her childs lunch with hers and the toddler now has cheese enchiladas for lunch and mom has the chicken nuggets. I turn on the tv to it blaring an infomercial and cannot find the remote that Todd lost last night. A daycare child has arrived crying and spilled his cereal all over the floor.  And a baby has arrived with the mother announcing she is cranky. The baby that is.  Not the mother.

I clean up the milk, unpack the diaper bags, put the cheese enchilada in the freezer for a rainy day, lay the babies down for naps, take the left over gift wrap stuff downstairs, clean up the cereal, hide the squealing alarms,  find the remote, turn on Thomas the Train, grab my most healthy breakfast of......

......that someone so thoughtfully brought me for Valentines Day and said a prayer of peace.

"Lord give me strength.  And please make this doughnut make it all better"

It didn't.  But if felt sooooooooooo good going down.

Peace......

For now.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

This that and little of whatever

Since the holidays we....ok...I seem to be going in 5 different directions.  Did you ever have a day where you plan on cleaning up everything in one day but there is just so much to do that you begin pulling everything out and doing a little here and a little there cause you don't know where to begin and come 3pm in the evening you stop and turn and see everything exploded all over your house and nothing is actually really done??  Yeah.  Kinda like that.

Megan is back to school.  That is a plus.  But she had issue with an online class that some idiot sitting at desk in some big office in NJ decided was needed.  See they tried cramming a personal finance class into a 25 min opening slot in a school day.  This is a online run program with no actual teacher.  This, in itself, has been an issue. I think I saw red when I emailed her teacher for this class in the school about a concern and was told she really isn't the teacher.  She just babysits.  I have to contact the online supervisor who is the teacher. I do that and am told it isn't her job either and I have to call some 800 number of the people who made the program.  Yeah.  Well.  Lets just say that didn't exactly go over very well with me and I rather exploded.....and sent a copy to every possible leader, teacher, principal, director and maybe even a few janitors in the school district on my thoughts of this.  Yeah.  It has been way fun. Megan goes back in school after being sick and it is final week.  They won't let her take her final because.........#1 the site had been down for two weeks and she was behind #2 they don't have her logging in since Jan 8th and she can't do the final if she hasn't done the work. Only I personal KNOW she has been on cause Todd and I have been doing it!  Yes. I just admitted to doing my childs homework!  See this hour class turned into a 3-4 hour class....per day....5 days a week.  It simply was not meant to be done in a 25min slot.  So Todd and I have been on trying to keep her afloat as best as we could.  Make a loooooong story short Todd got to go in and explode all over everyone.  She was supposed to be allowed to finish the final. We are awaiting results on that.

Oh and next year this class will be a full slot class.  WITH A TEACHER.  Go figure. Sometimes a little bitching helps.

That brings me to cookie sales.  Almost done.  Yippie.  We are currently at 350 boxes sold.  I am rather done.  Done. Done.  And did I mention done?  It was a lot of work that the weather has not been cooperating on.  No fun lugging boxes of cookies in a wagon in snow, wind and 20 degrees.  But we trudged on and are down to the last few boxes.  However the leader has some left overs she is trying to push and so we are now doing yet another cookie booth to try and get rid of what cookies the troop have left.  Yea (said in a weak and mildly under-excited voice)

I have been working on vacation bible school things. Its early, Kim, you say?  Why, yes it is.  But I am setting up my 1st meeting with teachers and have packs to make and copies to run and schedules to schedule and have been working on that too.

And scheduling vacation too.  Its early for that too, Kim, you say?  Why, yes, yes it is. But we have a group going and I have to get an idea on how much it will cost and so have been booking hotels and planning schedules for that as well.

Delaney birthday is coming up.  She wanted a gym party again this year but when I went to book it a month and half ahead of time, I was told no room at the Inn.  So we redirected and she is having a roller skating party.  I have been looking for supplies and making favors and sending invites and making calls and ordering cakes.  And just when I am almost done on party planning, Ryan asks for a party too.  Ryan is going to be 20 two weeks after Delaney.  And he wants a party.  A soccer party.  A soccer party with pizza and guests and the works.  *sigh*  Really?!  I am debating between saying no out of exhaustion and um...dude your gonna be 20..... and yes out of quilt.  I will have to get back to you on that one.

Add in some stress at Delaneys school.  Lets see...where to begin......
Delaney is shy.  She doesn't like to talk in class and doesn't like being wrong even more.  She is a bit of a perfectionist and insanely in need of being right and not being laughed at.  This is effecting her class work.   She doesn't participate and only works in small groups.  Odd for a child that I would say is about my most outgoing child of the three but she IS unique and is who she is. She is a little of Ryan who will focus on one thing till it is perfect and a little of Megan who also would not talk in a class. 

What I am having issues with is her teacher who doesn't know how to work with her.  Or doesn't want to.  I told her to get her to do something...praise her. She will blossom.  Nothing.  I told her to get her to preform.....reward her. She will do whatever you want her to. Nothing.  What I did get was a notice saying she was having issues and we needed to deal with them.  If you remember I home schooled Delaney for a while.  In prek she was doing Kindergarten work.  In kindergarten she was doing 1st grade work. By the time I sent her off to school she was heading into 1st grade doing a 2nd grade level on work....for me.   Now I am getting that she is having issues and is falling behind in 2nd grade. Why? I get a notice home saying she can't do XYZ but she does it for me at the table.  She happily does homework.  She loves workbooks and stories.  I don't see an issue.  Having another child with a learning disability I know to look for signs. I don't see them. I think it is more a teacher not willing to take advise and rethink on what she normally does. Perhaps a teacher already overworked in a class of 23 kids and little time to think out of the box for one. But I gave the teacher the benefit of the doubt and took Delaney to our tutor. She is a special education teacher and was Ryans tutor and guide through school.  She tested Delaney and said....nothing wrong with this child other than a few bad habits in her reading she picked up from school.  They have gone from phonics that I taught her to site words and so she is having issues with decoding and sounding out but nothing that a few sessions can't correct.  I schedule lessons with her and she makes a note to the school and teacher for me.

 The teacher, not liking that I would even begin to doubt her suggestions, has retaliated with daily notes scribbled all over Delaneys school work. Extra work sent home with more notes scribbled on it.  Black sharpie marker notes all over her work that she did during the day. It is irritating me.  I am gearing up to attack.  Listen.....I have put three children through school.  One with a learning disability. I have been here and done it. I have dealt with some of the worse teachers and some of the best and have a whole new perspective on tenure and overworked teachers and special education and the whole public education as a whole.   And if I learned nothing in those first 12 years, it is that THEY work for me.  THEY don't tell ME what to do.  I tell them.  They might teach but I am who makes the choices on what is really taught and done. I am not a sit at home and do whatever you want parent.  I am involved.  I read. I research.  I find ways to make things work as I know not all children fall into a mold made by some school. And I do NOT take the easy road just to make life the of a teacher better and less stressful.  Delaney is bright and eager to learn.  She needs a teacher willing to help her grow.  This teacher can either redirect under my suggestions and watch Delaney grow and achieve or she and I will have some issues before the end of school year comes.  She might just want to put her black marker away too cause it is setting me up and she does not want to go there. 

So life has been busy.  Stressful.  A little crazy.  Maybe a bit grumpy.  As it is, it has taken all morning just to write this.  So I am off to change diapers and make lunches and read stories and do some tutoring of my own..........................

Cough cough.....sneeze sneeze

This week has been busy.  Not so much as with activities but more so with illness.  You see...I  have been fighting an uphill battle with all the germs going around lately. Stomach flu, virus', flu, pink eye, whooping cough, etc etc etc.  I have a better understanding of all those service men on the home fronts.  Oh I might not be fighting an army of men with guns but I AM fighting an army of germs coming in my door daily on the hands and mouths of little snotty nosed toddlers and school aged kids.  I can lysol and purel till I am coughing up fresh linen and have hands dry enough to look like a desert. It doesn't stop it from invading once I have a sick child sitting in the middle of the playroom!

Oh how I long for the days of summer!

This week alone I had one stomach virus, one flu and one "I don't know what my child has cause I didn't take them to the dr but they are all better after pumping them with Tylenol and hoping no one notices". 

I cringe at the sound of a sneeze!

Add in Megan was my 1st to come down sick.  It wasn't contagious.  She started out as a really bad allergy attack on and off over the last several weeks which turned into a sinus infection. I should have gone with my gut and made the dr appointment on Monday when she said her teeth hurt but I have been trying to encourage her to speak for herself rather than me doing it for her.  She is, after all, 15.

By Wed. she was in full bloom and I made the appointment.  She was given an antibiotic and sent on her way. By that night she was in pain.  We started hot tea and Advil and allergy meds around the clock.  Thurs she was home sick and unable to go to school.  And by Thur night/Friday morning (cause nothing of course happens when the dr office is open!) we were on our way to the ER as she was starting to pass out when standing.  We took the advise of a nurse friend of ours and gave her more Advil and iced her face which really helped.

Lesson learned....do not show up at the ER at 3am after Advil and ice and tell them that your pain level is a 1!  They look at you like your insane and are disturbing their rest!  But the ice helped and a pain level of 1 is what she proudly announced!  I so need to have a talk with my daughter on her drama performance in times on need like that!!

They gave her a new antibiotic which in turn was the change of the world for her!  By the time she woke she was feeling so much better.  It still took her the rest of the weekend to feel slightly normal and is still dealing with the tail end effects of it all but overall she is doing so much better.

Goes to show you that lysol is not the cure-all for everything.

Wouldn't life be so much simpler if it was!? I could just spray down everyone from head to toe at the 1st sneeze and make it all go away! Life would be full of no germs and the lovely invigorating fresh smell of Linen!

Course we might have issues with asthma but that is another story...........

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on.......ME!

It has been cold here lately.  Been hit with the northeast cold front for a good week now.  We are bundled in coats and sweaters and gloves.  Tis winter for sure! It has finally hit for the 1st time in about two years.  Last year I was in shorts this time of the year.  So I shouldn't complain.  Except......... when it blows up in my face.

 I keep my soda outside in the winter rather than take up space in the fridge ( you know where this is going, don't you? ) .  Yesterday I noticed it was a bit slushy but ok all the same. I kinda like it slushy anyway.  Like drinking a Coke Icee from the store.

Today I go out and notice one of the cans was upside down.  That should have been my 1st clue.  Took it inside, popped the lid and BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  In my face.....up to the ceiling.........across the kitchen.....on my floor..........hitting a daycare child who just stares at me with Coke in her hair like "What the!?"

I totally understood that expression!

I come out of my shock and laugh while I clean it all up.  It was not easy an easy task.  Soda covered the kitchen but I got it done.  Set out my lunch, went back out to get another can (this time making sure it was upright) and opened it..............BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*sigh* 

Yep. I did it again.

The dogs went running.  The sleeping baby in the other room roared her displeasure.  Ryan just stood there shaking his head and saying "Really mom?!"

No. I did NOT think it would do it again!

Don't judge me!

I spend my day with Barney and little kids.  I never said I was the brightest.

I can, however, say I am the thirstiest. 

It's COOKIE TIME!

Ok. If you know me or you have at least read my blog...or both...then you know I am kind of, sort of, in a way, competitive. I try to pretend it doesn't matter that I lose but the truth is I am secretly hoping to kick your butt at that board game and so want to laugh with glee when I do!  I try not to let it show cause I was always taught to not be a sore loser or winner for that matter.  But if you look you can see my smile, my bouncing in my seat and maybe even a giggle under my breath.  A few drinks of wine and you might even get an open laugh in your face-kicking your butt-I am so winning-dance. 

My name is Kimberly and I am a win-aholic.

So it should not surprise anyone that being a mom of a girl scout this time of the year is kinda turning me into that 'I am so kicking your butt' cookie mom! 

It started out as a general sale.  Then I got more orders.  And those orders turned into more orders and before I knew it, we had a presale order of 89 cookie boxes. I could feel that secret giggle coming up. It is like a high.  But I was being good cause, after all, this is all about being a troop and working together and sales were the whole group and good nature and learning skills and...........blah blah blah. 

Lets be honest here.....it is all about the cookie sale. It is all about who rings that door first and I WANT IT TO BE ME!

It doesn't help that we have a troop leader that likes to advertise that she is THE cookie mom.  She is THE big seller.  She is THE head leader, queen cookie, major-three-star cookie person and she was sitting on a throne made of shortbread and chocolate.  I so wanna giggle and push her butt off that shortbread throne while I...I mean....Delaney.....takes the new spot.  Yeah cause, um, it is all about Delaney and a learning experience.  Yeah.  That's right.

Well. We have sold 220 boxes of cookies in four days.  Yes you heard that right.  220 boxes in FOUR days!  And that doesn't include the sales from the cookie booth we did this weekend also.  I won't know the tally of the booths till the end but I do know we ain't doing bad!! And I know that we have a good four more weeks to go.

Last weekend we hit my mother in laws area.  It is mainly older people and few scouts.  All we heard was how no one comes to their doors anymore. Ah yes. I know!! *wink wink* I do know!

Next weekend we are off to the retirement developments.  Older people all condensed in one lovely area with no scouts in residence and who go shopping mainly in the afternoons when girl scouts are at school. Little old ladies and men who love cute little Brownie scouts.....and cookies. Um hum.  I know where my cha-ching fix is!  And cookie momma is coming!

I shall prevail.........mwahhaaaaaaaaaaa! We shall sell the cookies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 On a serious note, Delaney is truly doing a wonderful job.  She is hauling those cookies, smiling and talking to people like she has never done before.  She has sold cookies to friends and family and teachers.  Sold to neighbors.  Sold at cookie booths and sold to strangers.  And been a trooper the whole way.  Sunday, when we walked around Grandmoms neighborhood, we walked for three hours pulling a wagon and ringing doorbells.  She never complained.  She sold till we had little left in the wagon to sell and after fill up many times along the way.  I am proud of her. 

 Although, I am wondering if she just might have some of mommas need for a win cause what 7 year old walks for three hours and never complains? Says thank you and moves on to the next house? Yeah.....maybe just a tiny bit like mommy.  It is all about learning skills along the way.

(And maybe beating Cookie Momma too!)

MENDING

I come from a broken family.

There.  I said it.

I never really thought of my life that way as a kid.  My Grandparents worked hard to make things rather perfect.  We lived in the same house almost most of my life.  We had picnics and family vacations and game nights.  We cuddled on the sofa and watched movies and laughed at dinner time.  I was in the school band and did sleep overs and laid in the hammock on summer days eating watermelon and watching the clouds roll by.  I felt safe and secure and life was normal.  I can't say I ever felt like my family was broken.

I have come to realize though that trying to make everything all rainbows and sunshine doesn't really hide the reality of life.  The world is full of bad things and people.  Feelings get hurt.  Memories engraved.  Hearts broken.  Anger suppressed.  Making life as perfect as you can doesn't hide the truth.

I am grateful for the childhood I did have.  I can't say I would change anything cause....well....it was normal to me.  But the reality is......

My family is broken.

What I find sad is that many more memories were missed out on.  People passed by.  Moments stolen that can not be returned.  People hurt by the actions of another.  Souls that cannot be mended. Pretending that everything is perfect doesn't really face the truth in the end and doesn't allow one to truly heal.

I understand my Grandparents thinking.  One wants to protect.  But you really cannot. 

I will be honest and say what I haven't said in all my life.  I have held onto hurts over the years that I tried to hide behind watermelon summers and family game nights.  That I suppressed because they didn't really mean anything.  Or so I told myself.  I have met someone else like that.  Someone who doesnt' believe that the actions of another mattered.  But they do.  We can hide behind things and words but.....they do.

I believe that there is a reason for everything.  I once looked for my mother in the hopes of finding answers to hurts that were hidden.  I never had the opportunity to do so as she has passed away before I found her.  I struggled with this because I wanted answers.  I NEEDED answers.  There had to be something to explain how I felt.  But I won't be getting them.  What I found was someone else also struggling.  Perhaps a little lost like me.

I don't believe I was meant to find those answers I sought. I don't think I was meant to find my mother. I think perhaps my answers are in the feelings and understandings of another who can comprehend where I am too.  That perhaps we can reach out to each other and not, perhaps, understand the actions of another but to understand the feelings of each other.  We can't answer for another person.  But we can listen and understand where each of us are.

My father came back into my life.  I have come to realize that sometimes things are beyond our control.  That sometimes we wish we could change the past.  That the actions of others can alter forever and break hearts.

My brother came into my life.  We are on a new journey.  Taking slow steps and learning as we go.

In the end, as we slowly come together, heal and find peace in each other, I think that we might just be....normal.  No family is perfect.  There is no watermelon summers without all the other things that come with being a family.  We are all unique and special and frustrating and odd and perfect and loving and hurtful and imperfect as about every other family in the world. We are NOT perfect.  We ARE, however, family.

We might be broken but we are together and that is about as perfect a family as one can be!

Photos of the day.........

 Megan blow drying her hair.  I believe this needs little more said!

Delaney at Megans soccer awards ceremony.  And I do believe her face says exactly what we were all thinking! "WHEN is this thing over?!"

 Puppy vs. Child.  Puppy wins!

Congrats Megan! Great job!

COOKIE TIME

IT'S GIRL SCOUT COOKIE TIME!!

 

Delaney is selling Girl Scout cookies for her brownie troop.   Below is the list of cookies available.  Anyone interesed, let me know before the yummy runs out!

 

 We will deliver!

 

Delaney (and Kimberly)

 

All varieties are $4.00 per box and there are 12 boxes in a case.
 

Savannah Smiles™

Savannah Smiles™ are a lemony delight to celebrate 100 years of Girl Scouting. 

Samoas®

Tender vanilla cookies, covered with caramel, rolled in toasted coconut and striped with a rich, chocolaty coating.

Trefoils™

Delicate-tasting shortbread that is simple and satisfying.

Thank U Berry Munch™

Real, premium cranberries provide a delightful tartness in these hearty cookies sweetened with creamy, white fudge chips.  Crispy rice delivers a satisfying crunch.  Thank U for supporting Girl Scouts.

Thin Mints

A thin wafer covered with a smooth chocolaty coating. Made with natural peppermint.

Tagalongs®

Tasty cookies topped with creamy peanut butter and covered with a luscious chocolaty coating.

Do-Si-Dos®

Crisp and crunchy oatmeal cookies with creamy peanut butter filling. No artificial color or flavor.

Dulce de Leche

Inspired by the classic confections of Latin America, these sweet, bite-size cookies are rich with milk caramel chips.

 

I am getting too old!

Remember the days when you were young ( Or perhaps your still there)  when the adventures of a baby were fun? You didn't mind the spit up or the poop or the wakings in the early dawn.  You loved them and they were precious and you did just did it.

Well.  I am over it. I want to play and cuddle and then send them home with momma when I am done!

Course I am talking more so about the new puppy we just got but the theory still works.

I had a puppy when we first got married.  And I remember puppy teeth and chewing on everything and pooping and waking in the middle of the night crying and.........I remember it and want to forget it.  Which might be why I tended to go older when I got other dogs.  I like the one year stage. Still young enough to train and play with but old enough to know better.  A four month old puppy running around my house is not making me overly happy right now.

Why did I get one you ask?  Well because if you read my post below you will see I am a marshmallow.  No Santa doesn't bring puppies but Ryan, who works at the SPCA, does.  I caved.  I gave in.  I am clearly soft enough to roast over a fire and make into a smores.  And I am not happy.

We got a crate.  Ryan was told I am not caring for it.  I do not get up at 2am to take her out.  I do not clean up after her. I do not feed her or walk her and I am not so sure I want to play either.  That is his job and his sisters. And they have been fairly good with it.  Except for the potty training..............

I do not want to get up in the middle of a movie to find poop in my family room or to take her out and find that she decided to deliver a present even after spending 20 minutes outside in 20 degree weather.  And I am getting angry.  I simply do not have the patience for it.  And I cannot cuddle and send it home cause it lives here!

I am either going to slap a diaper on her butt or slap Ryan with it.  Either works. 

And I think Cherokee feels the same way.  My loving playful old puppy has spend the last three days grumbling and growling.  She is not overly impressed with this little bundle of fur.  And, Cherokee, I completely understand. I am sure she is over it too.

Maybe Cherokee and I will hide in the bedroom and grumble about the good old peaceful, poopless days together.

No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed!

And so starts a New Year

Well we made it through shopping malls, wrapping paper, Christmas pageants, bell concerts, and Christmas week.  Over is the rush of the holidays and the slow quiet week of Christmas.  Back is the schedules and schools and lunch boxes and momma busing to this that and the other.  I have to admit I am not looking forward to reality.  It has been a lovely week of nowhere really to go.  Work was slow.  No activities.  It was nice.  But we cannot ignore reality and sadly it is here.  This is our last day of nothingness.  I am actually sitting and writing this while still in my jammies and it is noon.  But we just got up not to long ago either.  Actually Megan and her friend are still in bed.  It promises to be a lazy last day.

We went out to dinner for New Years Eve and then came back to the house and the kids all had friends over for games, dessert and New Years fun.  We played and laughed and filled our tummies with chocolate burritos and strawberry desserts.  Then went out on the front lawn and made as much noise as we could when the bell struck 2013!  Yes, I made teenagers and college students don New Years Eve hats and bang pots and pans while blowing horns.  And even though I think they will probably never tell their friends, they loved it!

 Maybe not so much the neighbors.

Delaney even had a friend over and even though they both were up at 6am, they both stayed up till 2am last night! I couldn't believe they made it that late.  Two o'clock and I am heading for bed while they are dancing around the kitchen blowing bubbles.

Oh for some of that energy.

Well as I slowly and sadly clean up from the night before while still in my jammies.......
 I hope you had a wonderful New Years Eve. May 2013 be blessed with the love and laughter of friends and family.  May your life be blessed and healthy.  And may this New Year bring you much happiness.