Caught Between

I went yesterday to Ryans senior class meeting.  It covered things like senior trip, pictures, college enrollment, gown fittings, etc etc etc.  I walked in and saw the other parents I have spent the last 13 years with and felt a little sad.  These were the faces at room parent meetings and PTA fundraisers.  Parents who went from crying on the steps along side me the 1st day of kindergarten to soccer games and school dances and now senior meetings.  It seems so much like yesterday since I stood on that kindergarten step and waved goodbye.  And here stands my son, head and shoulders above me....at a senior class meeting.  Where did this time go?  It was so fast.

As I sat there listening to them drone on and on and on about college enrollment and how to repay student loans, I glanced around me.  Everyone seemed....well....so OLD!  Their faces were familar.  Their wrinkles were not.  It was a hit of reality that I was one of them!  I don't feel old.  Perhaps because I have a 6 year old coming up behind.  I sat there thinking about how those parents of other 6yr olds must think I am OLD! 

It dawned on me that I am rather stuck between two worlds. (actually three if you think about it)  I have one graduating highschool, one graduating middle school and one starting school.  As I sat there thinking how much we had all aged since that 1st day of kindergarten, it occured to me that when Delaney graduates and I am sitting in those same seats listening to HER senior class meeting I will be in my 50s!!! Old enough to be a GRANDMOTHER!!!  If that doesn't bring you into reality, nothing will!

I like to think I will be one hip old mom/grandmom by the time Delaney graduates.  (The fact that I used the word HIP should tell you much!)  I hope that I will be taking my kids to Disney and the beach and playing in the park and still wearing jeans and ...........going to a senior class meeting without having to take a double dose of Advil to make it there!

I would not take back the age spread of my children.  I was blessed with the children I have and when I was given them.  They have filled my life in ways I never thought possible. The challenges and the laughter and the love. The fact is, we never like the fact that we are getting old.  And we all are feeling like that at a senior class meeting no matter our age.  No matter if it is our 1st going through or our last.  13 years is so little time and yet so much!

As I venture on this new journey with my son I can only pray that we will continue to be blessed.....and that I can still bend to say the prayer of thanks without that double dose of Advil!