Happy Birthday to me!

It was actually yesterday.  And I had a nice slow day at work and dinner out with my family and cake with friends.  Who could ask for more!?

But I was thinking this morning how different life....and birthdays...are once you turn a certain age.  When you are a teenager you dream of being 20 something.  To be an adult and allowed to do anything. To date guys and drive a cool car and not have to be told to clean your room! 

Then you turn 20 something and you can't wait to turn 30 something.  To be more mature.  To start a family and be in the mist of your career.  To be more settled in the direction you are going in life.

Then you turn 30 something....and something....and something....and you head toward 40.  Few I think dream of turning 40.  It is the 1/2 way mark in your life.  Where you once dreamed of looking forward, you now begin to start looking back and thinking how STUPID you were when you dreamed you wanted to be 20 something!  Life was good back then!  Not that life isn't good at 40 something.  Some tend to think it is a wonderful step in life.  That you are mature and have direction.  That you come more into yourself and begin to focus more on the wonderful things of life.  And some see the future ahead and want to be 20 again! I am not sure where I am in this.  I am blessed to be where I am in life and yet the thought of another year does not seem to please me.

As a child you expect your parents to remember your birthday.  They are the ones who remind your family and friends by sending party invites and making the cake.  Then you become an adult and you can't wait for your birthday to come so you can celebrate finally being that adult, drink and have fun with friends!  But when you hit 40 something. I, personally, kinda am mixed between wanting to forget it and having that secret need of a child to want to be remembered.

By the time I hit 40 I began writing my age on the calendar cause it wasn't something I focused on any longer and I didn't want to turn 50 and thought that year I was really 51!  It becomes another day.  One that I could wake and move on with no need for anyone to notice that I grew another year on the calendar.
And yet, how depressing to have others forget at the same time!  I guess it is more the need for ME to forget and the need to have others remember.

My bestest funny birthday memories yesterday?
My girlfriend who called and left me a message that said I survived to see another year!  I wasn't sure how I felt about that actually.  That it was a blessing or that I should be happy cause I am getting old and should be grateful my name wasn't in the obits!

And my lovely, sweet teenage daughter who told one of my daycare clients I was turning 50!  And his reply?  Shock and "You look darn good for 50!".  Problem was.....I am NOT 50! Not even close, thank you! Should I take it that I simply look darn good overall or that he actually believed my daughter and thought I was 50!
She spent the rest of the day thinking she hit pay dirt on that comment and told the rest of the world I was 50 for the remainder of the day!  Just full of herself and giggles!  But it will come back Megan.  It will come back!

In the end I guess I should thank everyone for a perfect birthday.  Thank you to those who remembered and filled my day with cards and cake!  And thank you to those who forgot and made me eternally another year younger!  My personal inner conflict was met on both ends!

And the best part was.....I lived another year to not see my name in the obits and I look damn good for 50!  Who could ever ask for a better birthday!?