Megan......

....I think your right.  Santa doesn't bring puppies"

That was Delaneys sad comment yesterday morning.  But she is right.  Santa doesn't and shouldn't bring puppies as a gift on Christmas morning.  A dog or puppy is part of the family.  It should be carefully thought out and planned.  The right dog chosen and not just grabbed and a bow put on it.  And in the end, our dog, Cherokee, kinda gets the final say cause she has to like this puppy.  Another dog has to have the right personality and be the right breed and be prepared for the life of dog in a house full of little children.  There is training to do and things to be gotten. Not a very good spur of the moment gift to pick up simply because it is cute and it is Christmas.  Christmas decorations get put away and puppies are no longer cute when they are chewing on your shoe.

Delaney had placed her heartfelt want on her Christmas list and voiced it to everyone she saw.  Megan put it on her list too. Ryan has been begging for a while. In truth I had considered it.  Delaney has been asking for a while.  And when she voiced her sad statement Tuesday morning, it rather broke my heart.  I know she would have been overjoyed to find a red ribbon adorned fur ball running about under the tree but it didn't happen. It was not a gift that Santa needed to bringing Christmas morning among visiting guests and wrapping paper.

I am not sure that I am even ready to head there at all.  But I will probably cave eventually under the sad request of a little girl who is backed up by three other family members.

Whatever my decision it will be planned and the moment right. The stars and the moon will line up and the universe will declare this the perfect moment and the perfect dog....... if it is meant to be. 

And Santa can take a well earned break on this one!

SUGAR with some Cookies........

Enough sugar to put you in a coma for a good month.  Courtesy of Delaney!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Wait!

Is that deer real?

The sky is filled with Angels
With puffy lacy wings
The remnants of God's beauty
With treasures they now bring
Each one of them a Guardian
That travels in the sky
To watch throughout eternity
Their parents from on high
Smiles that come from Angels
They fall like crystal rain
Eases earthly burdens
Lifting all life's pain
Halos so astounding
That glitter gold each day
Following their loved ones
In such a perfect way
Wings in gentle breezes
That fall from up above
Kissing every parent
With everlasting love
Angels soar through heaven
With everlasting light
Looking down from heaven
Saying their "goodnights"
Kissing all who loved them
So gently on the face
This life's tender mercy
Each parent can embrace
Wings and shiny halos
Travel from on high
Surrounding all their loved ones
They never say good-bye.

My Heart Is Broken.

Today my alarm went off like normal. I woke the girls up and readied them for the start of another week.  So many things to do.  Christmas is almost here. There will be parties and shopping and wrapping along with homework and getting ready for a week off for the holidays. But inside my heart ached.  My fear great.  I swallowed my nerves, put a smile on and packed lunches like I do every single day. But the truth is, it was hard to send them off.  I laughed with Megan a little more at the bus stop. Talked about her upcoming day and plans for tonight.  I closed my eyes and kissed Delaneys head and inhaled her scent then gave an extra kiss and sent her on her way as my heart ached to pull her back.

 Today was just another day.......just like Friday.

Friday, parents woke and dressed their children and sent them on their way.  They were probably planning things for later when the bus would bring them home like dinner or dance class or a run to the mall for Christmas shopping.  27 families had their world change in a few minutes.

Friday was just another day.........just like today.

I heard a story of a mother who was waiting in the firehall for their child on Friday.  Parents has been called to join up with their children one by one. Those still left there who weren't already grabbed up earlier by frantic parents.  Then there was nothing.  In that hall stood parents who waited for what must have seemed like eternity for their name to be called to get their child.  Then someone walked in and said, "Today was a tragic day for Newtown.  Today we lost 20 children" and their lives were changed forever.

How those moments must have felt like.  How it must have taken their breath away when it became reality what he was telling them.  How their hearts must have broken.  How they must have thought it was a silly and cruel joke and their child would walk out to them.

The mother in this story said she went home and crawled in her daughters bed cause she knew that was the last place she had been only hours prior.  My heart reached out to her. I understood.  I felt her pain.  I think the world understands. I wished I could reach through the tv and hug the pain away.  I understood.

The drs spent the morning telling us to talk with our children.  To reasure them.  To tell them that they are safe and their school has measures to keep them safe.

Isn't that what Sandy Hook Elementary did?  Didn't those children feel safe that morning?  Didn't the school have saftey measures in place that they believed worked?  Didn't those parents send their children off to school and expect them to come home that day?

How do you reassure when you don't understand or have the answers yourself?  How do you make them feel safe when, in truth, you want to hide your children and pray no harm comes to them?

So what is the solution? Is it to make our childrens school safer?  How do we do that?  Install bullet proof glass?  Put alarms on door?  Never allow the children to play outside for recess or gym? Put bars on windows?  Place them in bullet and fire proof boxes under lock and key for their "safety" and allow people to roam free with access to guns or worse while we hide??  Is that the solution?

I cannot reassure my children because they are not safe.  Adam Lanza proved that on December 14th at 9:30 in the morning on a normal day.......just like today.

"God must have needed angels today" someone at church reassured us yesterday.  God didn't take those babies on Friday.  God didn't have his hand on the gun or controlled the man who shot them 11 times.  God certainly didn't seem to be there that early December morning.  Yes.  Those children went home to God on Friday.  But I don't think he called them.

As we go through our days and ready for the upcoming holidays let us take a moment to hug and kiss our families that one extra time.  Inhale their scent.  Caress their heads. Send your teenager a text that you love them.  Spend extra moments that normal you would have taken to do something else.

Don't let today be just another day.........just like Friday.

Who Gives You The Right!?

"Masked gunman kills 27, including 18 children, at Connecticut primary school...."

 I am tired of hearing about reports like this. I am tired of clicking on the computer or tv and hearing about innocent children being attacked.  I am tired of sending my children to school and worry if they will come home again.  I am tired of people who seem to think it is ok to take the life of another with no concern for anyone but themselves.  

 WHO GIVES YOU THIS RIGHT?

I am going to say about the most unchristian thing right now but if you have an issue....your life is messed up, you are upset with someone, your wife cheated on you, your were fired, your angry at the world.......go outside and knock yourself off! Have a blast.  Literately.  Leave the innocent people alone.  It is your life but you have no right to take the life of another!!!!!!!

 NO child should experience a scene like this.

NO child should go to school and feel unsafe. 

 NO child should see someone die this way in front of them.  

NO child should see a friend hurt

AND YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO MAKE THOSE CHOICES!

 I pray for these children and their families.  

And I pray for the lost souls out there that they find help in something other than the pain of others.      

On a Positive Note

No one died in the Italian 101 class at the college last night.  I am thinking that is a positive response to my lovely maritozzi.  In fact the teacher took home 8 for her family and asked for the recipe.  I guess I....um I mean Ryan.....got a good grade.

They were supposed to look like this

They turned out like this

I won't tell if you won't!

Monday Ain't No Batter!

Tis the season.  The season of lights and music and HO HO HO and pretty much moms everywhere to go insane.  Might explain all the wine bottle gift wraps I have been seeing everywhere.  I think we all have been asking....or needing....it since the start of December!

Yes.  I do believe I know it is only the 10th too!

14 days 10 hours 12 mins and 50 something seconds at of the moment I typed this.

This weekend was filled with running and shopping and work and girl scouts and more running and, did I mention running!?  Hence my need for a Santa decorated wine bottle.  I haven't stopped all weekend! 

Friday was Delaneys girl scout party.  It was cute. A Polar Express, dress in your jammies and bring your ticket kinda party.   It was run by another troupe.  Not the most organized.  It was supposed to be the  movie which was never really viewed since they had it projected on a white wall with all the lights on. But the idea was cute.  "Stations" set up with the girls to do everything from making angels for a nursing home to carols to making your own Christmas cookie and sitting on the Big Red Mans lap.  It was actually a fun night.  Just not one of which I really had time for.  You see, I had shopping to do and groceries to get and bell choir practices and gifts to wrap and so much more to do than to say high to Jolly Old Saint Nick.  But it is what it is and Delaney asked me to stay and stay I did. Although I must admit my mind was doing mental check lists the whole time! And checking it twice.....

I also fit in Christmas shopping at some point between chasing kids and a Christmas bell concert and, even though I was out very late and walking about 500 miles at some unGodly hour while carrying shopping bags full of candy and sugar plum dreams the whole way, I would like to announce.......I AM DONE!

Oh yeah.  You heard me right!  Done.  Done.  D-O-N-E!

Only red paper and ribbons call me now and I am pleased of the sacrifice I made to achieve that goal. Who needs sleep right!?  Or skin on the sole of your feet either!?

I barely sat down all weekend except for dinner out on the way to the concert of which we totally pushed sitting at the table for as long as we could cause we were ALL rather tired at that point.  It was a lovely 2 hour dinner at a fast food restaurant. 

And when I came home to find my jammies and swear I wouldn't move for the next 8 hours, Ryan tells me he has to make some item to take to his Italian class.  Which is, DA-DA-DA, Monday night!  He has no time now to do it on a Sunday night. I sure am not!  And he works Monday.  So guess who is making some, I have no clue, bread???  Yeah!!!!!!  Me (I say in a tired and weak mousey voice)

Now let me point out that I love baking. I hate to cook.  Send me a gift card to Texas Roadhouse and you are my bestest friend!  But I like baking.  Problem is I have never really done a yeast bread before.  No clue if I am doing it right.  You see he picked out Maritozzi.

I can't even pronounce it let alone have a clue how to make it.  But it seemed the easiest of the ones he had looked at and so I went for it. 

Have I mentioned I don't work with yeast breads? 

I am having so much fun. Just a blast

Ok.  Not really.  There is a little sarcasm there.

It says to beat it down.  Seriously.  What exactly does that mean?  Yeah I get the whack it part.  But how long?  How hard?  Do I just give it a few taps or beat it into next Monday?

Then I am to dip it into egg and then sugar and let it sit out for an hour to rise again.  Seriously?  Eggs out for an hour?  And can I point out how totally nasty they look right now?  I think after four, I stopped the eggs and went right for the sugar and prayed that the Italian teacher wasn't really Italian and would be going home tonight to laugh with her family over what Ryan brought in tonight!
Egg dipped....

 Not egg dipped....

AND no clue on if they are even the correct size or shape.  They make 12.  I have 20.  Ummm might give you an idea on my success.

And in between making yummy Italian bread ( I use this loosely) , I spent my day calling the allergist because Megan, who is taking allergy shots for dog, among other things, has been getting this after playing with our dog Cherokee

I am thinking that cannot be good.

And so, as my tired feet protest, I am off to put those lovely breads into the oven.

And maybe look for that Santa bottle............

Say a prayer!

I think I might need it.

Done!

Delaney had her last soccer game on Sunday.  And what a BANG we went out in!  We drive all the way to the field.  Todd and Delaney get out as there is a 45 min. warm up with the team and the rest of us wait in the van till time to get out and set up chairs.  We are talking and chatting in the warm van and we notice it is time to gather our things and head out.  But.......wait.......the coaches are all walking around talking to each other.  Some of the team is over talking to parents.  A soccer ball bag is packed up and hauled over a shoulder.  It would look like they were leaving!  I go and ask Todd what is up and sure enough, no game will be happening that day.  Three coaches and neither one knows where the teams id badges are.  You see, when you travel, you need them.  They are like a drivers license.  It is proof they are on that team and their ages, etc.  No badges, no play.  And none of the coaches knows who had them last and where they are.  And THAT is how we finished off our last team game!! No outstanding game win.  No awesome soccer scores to tell Grandparents about.  No pats on the back and team shouts of joy.  It was kind of deflating.

I don't think Delaney minded though.  She had made chocolate pops in the shape of soccer balls and tied with team color ribbon to hand out the last game. She happily handed them to each team member and ran back to the van.  She clearly had completed her job for the day and not so overly concerned or sad that we forfeited their last game.

And yet......perhaps

............another reason that girl scouts might be her calling!