Megan......

....I think your right.  Santa doesn't bring puppies"

That was Delaneys sad comment yesterday morning.  But she is right.  Santa doesn't and shouldn't bring puppies as a gift on Christmas morning.  A dog or puppy is part of the family.  It should be carefully thought out and planned.  The right dog chosen and not just grabbed and a bow put on it.  And in the end, our dog, Cherokee, kinda gets the final say cause she has to like this puppy.  Another dog has to have the right personality and be the right breed and be prepared for the life of dog in a house full of little children.  There is training to do and things to be gotten. Not a very good spur of the moment gift to pick up simply because it is cute and it is Christmas.  Christmas decorations get put away and puppies are no longer cute when they are chewing on your shoe.

Delaney had placed her heartfelt want on her Christmas list and voiced it to everyone she saw.  Megan put it on her list too. Ryan has been begging for a while. In truth I had considered it.  Delaney has been asking for a while.  And when she voiced her sad statement Tuesday morning, it rather broke my heart.  I know she would have been overjoyed to find a red ribbon adorned fur ball running about under the tree but it didn't happen. It was not a gift that Santa needed to bringing Christmas morning among visiting guests and wrapping paper.

I am not sure that I am even ready to head there at all.  But I will probably cave eventually under the sad request of a little girl who is backed up by three other family members.

Whatever my decision it will be planned and the moment right. The stars and the moon will line up and the universe will declare this the perfect moment and the perfect dog....... if it is meant to be. 

And Santa can take a well earned break on this one!

SUGAR with some Cookies........

Enough sugar to put you in a coma for a good month.  Courtesy of Delaney!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Wait!

Is that deer real?

The sky is filled with Angels
With puffy lacy wings
The remnants of God's beauty
With treasures they now bring
Each one of them a Guardian
That travels in the sky
To watch throughout eternity
Their parents from on high
Smiles that come from Angels
They fall like crystal rain
Eases earthly burdens
Lifting all life's pain
Halos so astounding
That glitter gold each day
Following their loved ones
In such a perfect way
Wings in gentle breezes
That fall from up above
Kissing every parent
With everlasting love
Angels soar through heaven
With everlasting light
Looking down from heaven
Saying their "goodnights"
Kissing all who loved them
So gently on the face
This life's tender mercy
Each parent can embrace
Wings and shiny halos
Travel from on high
Surrounding all their loved ones
They never say good-bye.

My Heart Is Broken.

Today my alarm went off like normal. I woke the girls up and readied them for the start of another week.  So many things to do.  Christmas is almost here. There will be parties and shopping and wrapping along with homework and getting ready for a week off for the holidays. But inside my heart ached.  My fear great.  I swallowed my nerves, put a smile on and packed lunches like I do every single day. But the truth is, it was hard to send them off.  I laughed with Megan a little more at the bus stop. Talked about her upcoming day and plans for tonight.  I closed my eyes and kissed Delaneys head and inhaled her scent then gave an extra kiss and sent her on her way as my heart ached to pull her back.

 Today was just another day.......just like Friday.

Friday, parents woke and dressed their children and sent them on their way.  They were probably planning things for later when the bus would bring them home like dinner or dance class or a run to the mall for Christmas shopping.  27 families had their world change in a few minutes.

Friday was just another day.........just like today.

I heard a story of a mother who was waiting in the firehall for their child on Friday.  Parents has been called to join up with their children one by one. Those still left there who weren't already grabbed up earlier by frantic parents.  Then there was nothing.  In that hall stood parents who waited for what must have seemed like eternity for their name to be called to get their child.  Then someone walked in and said, "Today was a tragic day for Newtown.  Today we lost 20 children" and their lives were changed forever.

How those moments must have felt like.  How it must have taken their breath away when it became reality what he was telling them.  How their hearts must have broken.  How they must have thought it was a silly and cruel joke and their child would walk out to them.

The mother in this story said she went home and crawled in her daughters bed cause she knew that was the last place she had been only hours prior.  My heart reached out to her. I understood.  I felt her pain.  I think the world understands. I wished I could reach through the tv and hug the pain away.  I understood.

The drs spent the morning telling us to talk with our children.  To reasure them.  To tell them that they are safe and their school has measures to keep them safe.

Isn't that what Sandy Hook Elementary did?  Didn't those children feel safe that morning?  Didn't the school have saftey measures in place that they believed worked?  Didn't those parents send their children off to school and expect them to come home that day?

How do you reassure when you don't understand or have the answers yourself?  How do you make them feel safe when, in truth, you want to hide your children and pray no harm comes to them?

So what is the solution? Is it to make our childrens school safer?  How do we do that?  Install bullet proof glass?  Put alarms on door?  Never allow the children to play outside for recess or gym? Put bars on windows?  Place them in bullet and fire proof boxes under lock and key for their "safety" and allow people to roam free with access to guns or worse while we hide??  Is that the solution?

I cannot reassure my children because they are not safe.  Adam Lanza proved that on December 14th at 9:30 in the morning on a normal day.......just like today.

"God must have needed angels today" someone at church reassured us yesterday.  God didn't take those babies on Friday.  God didn't have his hand on the gun or controlled the man who shot them 11 times.  God certainly didn't seem to be there that early December morning.  Yes.  Those children went home to God on Friday.  But I don't think he called them.

As we go through our days and ready for the upcoming holidays let us take a moment to hug and kiss our families that one extra time.  Inhale their scent.  Caress their heads. Send your teenager a text that you love them.  Spend extra moments that normal you would have taken to do something else.

Don't let today be just another day.........just like Friday.

Who Gives You The Right!?

"Masked gunman kills 27, including 18 children, at Connecticut primary school...."

 I am tired of hearing about reports like this. I am tired of clicking on the computer or tv and hearing about innocent children being attacked.  I am tired of sending my children to school and worry if they will come home again.  I am tired of people who seem to think it is ok to take the life of another with no concern for anyone but themselves.  

 WHO GIVES YOU THIS RIGHT?

I am going to say about the most unchristian thing right now but if you have an issue....your life is messed up, you are upset with someone, your wife cheated on you, your were fired, your angry at the world.......go outside and knock yourself off! Have a blast.  Literately.  Leave the innocent people alone.  It is your life but you have no right to take the life of another!!!!!!!

 NO child should experience a scene like this.

NO child should go to school and feel unsafe. 

 NO child should see someone die this way in front of them.  

NO child should see a friend hurt

AND YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO MAKE THOSE CHOICES!

 I pray for these children and their families.  

And I pray for the lost souls out there that they find help in something other than the pain of others.      

On a Positive Note

No one died in the Italian 101 class at the college last night.  I am thinking that is a positive response to my lovely maritozzi.  In fact the teacher took home 8 for her family and asked for the recipe.  I guess I....um I mean Ryan.....got a good grade.

They were supposed to look like this

They turned out like this

I won't tell if you won't!

Monday Ain't No Batter!

Tis the season.  The season of lights and music and HO HO HO and pretty much moms everywhere to go insane.  Might explain all the wine bottle gift wraps I have been seeing everywhere.  I think we all have been asking....or needing....it since the start of December!

Yes.  I do believe I know it is only the 10th too!

14 days 10 hours 12 mins and 50 something seconds at of the moment I typed this.

This weekend was filled with running and shopping and work and girl scouts and more running and, did I mention running!?  Hence my need for a Santa decorated wine bottle.  I haven't stopped all weekend! 

Friday was Delaneys girl scout party.  It was cute. A Polar Express, dress in your jammies and bring your ticket kinda party.   It was run by another troupe.  Not the most organized.  It was supposed to be the  movie which was never really viewed since they had it projected on a white wall with all the lights on. But the idea was cute.  "Stations" set up with the girls to do everything from making angels for a nursing home to carols to making your own Christmas cookie and sitting on the Big Red Mans lap.  It was actually a fun night.  Just not one of which I really had time for.  You see, I had shopping to do and groceries to get and bell choir practices and gifts to wrap and so much more to do than to say high to Jolly Old Saint Nick.  But it is what it is and Delaney asked me to stay and stay I did. Although I must admit my mind was doing mental check lists the whole time! And checking it twice.....

I also fit in Christmas shopping at some point between chasing kids and a Christmas bell concert and, even though I was out very late and walking about 500 miles at some unGodly hour while carrying shopping bags full of candy and sugar plum dreams the whole way, I would like to announce.......I AM DONE!

Oh yeah.  You heard me right!  Done.  Done.  D-O-N-E!

Only red paper and ribbons call me now and I am pleased of the sacrifice I made to achieve that goal. Who needs sleep right!?  Or skin on the sole of your feet either!?

I barely sat down all weekend except for dinner out on the way to the concert of which we totally pushed sitting at the table for as long as we could cause we were ALL rather tired at that point.  It was a lovely 2 hour dinner at a fast food restaurant. 

And when I came home to find my jammies and swear I wouldn't move for the next 8 hours, Ryan tells me he has to make some item to take to his Italian class.  Which is, DA-DA-DA, Monday night!  He has no time now to do it on a Sunday night. I sure am not!  And he works Monday.  So guess who is making some, I have no clue, bread???  Yeah!!!!!!  Me (I say in a tired and weak mousey voice)

Now let me point out that I love baking. I hate to cook.  Send me a gift card to Texas Roadhouse and you are my bestest friend!  But I like baking.  Problem is I have never really done a yeast bread before.  No clue if I am doing it right.  You see he picked out Maritozzi.

I can't even pronounce it let alone have a clue how to make it.  But it seemed the easiest of the ones he had looked at and so I went for it. 

Have I mentioned I don't work with yeast breads? 

I am having so much fun. Just a blast

Ok.  Not really.  There is a little sarcasm there.

It says to beat it down.  Seriously.  What exactly does that mean?  Yeah I get the whack it part.  But how long?  How hard?  Do I just give it a few taps or beat it into next Monday?

Then I am to dip it into egg and then sugar and let it sit out for an hour to rise again.  Seriously?  Eggs out for an hour?  And can I point out how totally nasty they look right now?  I think after four, I stopped the eggs and went right for the sugar and prayed that the Italian teacher wasn't really Italian and would be going home tonight to laugh with her family over what Ryan brought in tonight!
Egg dipped....

 Not egg dipped....

AND no clue on if they are even the correct size or shape.  They make 12.  I have 20.  Ummm might give you an idea on my success.

And in between making yummy Italian bread ( I use this loosely) , I spent my day calling the allergist because Megan, who is taking allergy shots for dog, among other things, has been getting this after playing with our dog Cherokee

I am thinking that cannot be good.

And so, as my tired feet protest, I am off to put those lovely breads into the oven.

And maybe look for that Santa bottle............

Say a prayer!

I think I might need it.

Done!

Delaney had her last soccer game on Sunday.  And what a BANG we went out in!  We drive all the way to the field.  Todd and Delaney get out as there is a 45 min. warm up with the team and the rest of us wait in the van till time to get out and set up chairs.  We are talking and chatting in the warm van and we notice it is time to gather our things and head out.  But.......wait.......the coaches are all walking around talking to each other.  Some of the team is over talking to parents.  A soccer ball bag is packed up and hauled over a shoulder.  It would look like they were leaving!  I go and ask Todd what is up and sure enough, no game will be happening that day.  Three coaches and neither one knows where the teams id badges are.  You see, when you travel, you need them.  They are like a drivers license.  It is proof they are on that team and their ages, etc.  No badges, no play.  And none of the coaches knows who had them last and where they are.  And THAT is how we finished off our last team game!! No outstanding game win.  No awesome soccer scores to tell Grandparents about.  No pats on the back and team shouts of joy.  It was kind of deflating.

I don't think Delaney minded though.  She had made chocolate pops in the shape of soccer balls and tied with team color ribbon to hand out the last game. She happily handed them to each team member and ran back to the van.  She clearly had completed her job for the day and not so overly concerned or sad that we forfeited their last game.

And yet......perhaps

............another reason that girl scouts might be her calling!

Grey Thursday.......

That is the name I gave Thursday this year.  Or should I say Thanksgiving Day?! 
I am not sure how I felt about the stores pushing sales into Thanksgiving Day.  Last year was bad enough but at least most sales didn't start until 10pm or midnight.  This year Kmart opened as early as 6am and Walmart began the mad dash at 8pm and we happened to be in the middle of it Walmart for most of the night!

I don't know where my mind was or maybe I was naive because I personally have never graced the isles on Black Friday and was more the babysitter while Todd did it. This year I went with them and Megan babysat. Mainly because the thought of my 15yr old standing alone in a line in the middle of Walmart was not appealing and so she got to stay home while Todd, Ryan and I went. I wasn't sure which made me more nervous.  My younger children home alone or me standing in the lines at Walmart waiting for the bell to toll!!  I think it was me in the line!!  At least I knew my kids were safer at home more so than I was standing in a line while people gave glares at eachother as the minutes passed. I have NEVER experienced Black Friday in Walmart before I do believe I never will again.

We get to the store at 6:30pm with our lists and maps in hand.  Todd heads for bikes which is near me.  Ryan's item doesn't go on sale until 10pm so he heads my way until we see the line near us for a different TV that also goes on sale at 10pm.....off he heads to stand for HOURS in a line for a TV.  And as we man our positions we text eachother and the girls to make sure everyone is ok.

I stand behind a 50 something woman who is giddy with delight that she is 1st in our line and dances around in her too-tight leggings and bad black hair dye job with red roots while she laughs with her toothless husband. (Now I understand that website about Walmart shoppers!!) But she is friendly and we chat while I try and ignore the cold coming from the open door in lawn and garden and my allergies while I stand next to the cinnamon pinecones that I probably still reek from!  And there we chat and text our families for a good hour and half then 5 min before the 8pm event you sense the tension....It is almost as if time is slowing.  The chatter becomes less. The tension fills the air. You see the looks coming from others as if to say "I DARE YOU". The stand off is starting.  Those that were friendly and chatted with eachother only minutes before were now becoming enemies!

I know Ryan is ok and just standing in a line that won't move for several more hours and so it comes down to Todd and I.  I can see Todds line from my standing point and I can see a woman who happens to stop and stand by the stack of bikes to chat with a family member.  8pm..............and wrappers go flying.  The chatting lady decided at 8pm that all of a sudden she needed some bikes and turns to throw them in her cart and melee begins as they push her and other line cutters out of the way for bikes.  Todd included!  Go Todd Go!!  Me?  Oh our group is guarded by a worker who isn't so sure the item goes on sale at 8 or 10 and is looking in a flier to determine what to do.  I can hear screaming and people running and boxes of bikes flying through the air and here we stand in lawn and garden calmly trying to decide what we should do.  It was like we were in our own world!  We finally open the crate and we start handing out the items and helping others to put them in their carts.  No melee back in lawn and garden! That peaceful environment will prove to be my down fall....................

Todd gets what he needs and heads to check out with me following behind.  We take what we have to the car and head back in for the 2nd event that begins at 10pm.  It is only 8:30 by now and we have time so we check on Ryan who has a ticket and is sitting pretty and we set him up with drinks and a cart and off Todd and I go to two different lines again.  I can see him only about 10 feet from me and so there we stand, occasionally smiling weakly at eachother.  You get the sense this time it will not go so well.  We are now in electronics and this line is not so friendly.  I am third in line which sounds good but the two in front of it would seem are together and they spend the time casing out the crate on what they will grab and whispering.  It isn't one item each.  I can see by the counting it will be many.  As the time goes on, their group grows.  I go from being third in line to being a single shopper against two teams of about 5 each!

As we stand and wait, the group ahead of me moves a pregnant teen behind the crate so she doesn't get hurt while screaming ensues down the isle because someone decided to break into a crate at 9:30 and 'steal' DVD players.  This causes fighting and pushing and people running with their ill gotten goods!!  The police and undercover shoppers come and try and take back the items and all this fighting causes the two groups in front of me to rethink their strategy.  They take carts and barricade themselves to the crate with the carts in hopes it will help.

I say crate here as most items come in on pallets and wrapped up but that is really wrong so let me re-describe it so you can fully understand what we are dealing with here. It is a cardboard box that is meant to stand up against a shelf or wall.  It has no back and is flat in the back and it wrapped in plastic wrap to prevent "stealing" until time.  The only thing holding up the box or crate is a tiny sales lady (with a bruise on her face from the DVD fight) and who is related it seems to the two groups in front.  Besides the fact that she will not stand a chance when that time comes, she is making it clear she is helping the two groups in front.

Behind me is a young couple who spends the entire time complaining about line cutters and those in the group ahead who keep coming in to stand with the family. The time comes and what does the complainer do?  Line cuts!  Past me and past the carts ahead of me and PUSHES the older lady in the group ahead to get to the item!!!!!!!!!  PUSHES an older woman almost to the ground!  Now don't feel too bad because the woman pushes this dude out of the way and he comes back at her to push again!!  As she pushes him out again, I block him away with my body and now he pushes against me.  I know if I don't grab a hold of the woman she will fly into the box and the box into the sales lady so I grab her arm and pull back while the idiot behind me is pushing me forward.  The womans young helper sees and hands me the item I need and I push backward to get out of the way and pull the woman with me so she doesn't fall when I let go.........and then I cry. Yes I did.  Right there in the middle of all the fighting in Walmart on Grey Thursday.

Never have I experienced such rude people.  And I cannot understand it.  You will push people to the floor for one item?  A toy?  A bike? An electronic item?  I guess I am not meant for the sales because I cannot understand the disrespect of others for things that are nothing compared to a human life.  You want an item you stand in line and if they don't have enough you look elsewhere.  You pay your dues by waiting.  Instead people comes in at the last minute and push and shove and punch people for material items?!  Where is the good of the holiday?  Where is caring of your fellow mankind?

And so I have decided that Walmart on Grey Thursday or Black Friday is not my thing even though I love a good sale. I will look elsewhere and go to different stores because the clients at Walmart is not for me. I will shop online or head to more peaceful stores or better yet....pay full price because to ME a human being is worth much more than 50% off a CHRISTmas gift meant to be given out of love.

It is offical....

Delaney has decided to quit soccer.

Hummm. I am mixed between the fact that my days of sitting and cheering on my child while she races a ball toward a net on a sunny spring day is at an end and that my days of sitting in cold, freezing wind while holding a cold cup of 'hot' chocolate is at an end.  I am not sure which direction to head my thoughts to.  I HAVE noticed that since we switched teams, Delaney's interest has kind of fallen way side.  She has, dare I say it, turned into a grass picker!!  It could be that she moved from an all girls team to a co-ed team.  It could be that the coaches are all males who scream at the top of their lungs like they are watching a Sunday football game instead of coaching.  Or it could be that she is simply tired of cold 'hot' chocolate.  Either way, I have seen a change of interest in her.

Thinking that maybe she needed a break, I asked her what else she wanted to do.  She loves swimming and thought about swim team but she isn't so keen on wearing those rubber head covers.  (Already she is a fashion diva?)  So I mentioned girl scouts and she jumped on that like a frozen soccer player would jump on a blanket in the middle of a snow filled game!  And after loudly and happily deciding she wanted to do that and calling all her friends to say she was doing girl scouts, she comes up and quietly asks........what exactly do girl scouts do?  It would seem that the only thing she knows about girl scouts is that they wear cute outfits and make cookies and that was good enough for her.  (Did I mention about her turning into a fashion diva?)

 I have enrolled her and she is officially a Brownie.  So when you are sitting at home thawing out from YOUR child's soccer game and wanting a lovely snack of cookies to go with that hot chocolate.......think of us cause in a few months we will have plenty!!

Someone has to pay for that really cute outfit!

Convo between sisters.......

Megan and Delaney are watching some girls riding horses on tv and are chatting about our vacations where we go horseback riding.

Delaney: I love horse back riding!

Megan: Yeah you do good too Delaney.  You just don't know the words that horses understand.

Me: What are you talking about? "Words horses understand"??

Megan: You know.....like "Whoa" and "Stay"

Should I really tell Megan or just never allow her on a horse again??

Trick or Treat!!! FINALLY!

 With friends.........

 1st snow........... Halloween in NJ came just in time!

Bye Bye Sandy! No Halloween Candy for YOU!

We survived.  Our electric didn't even go out.  Saddly I wish it had. Even if only f,or an hour. Then it would have made the money time and effort to get my generator worth it!!! Standing in line at 6 am to get number 19 generator off a truck with only 21 on it, it would be nice to say we NEEDED IT at least.    I have a ton of water and food and nothing.......I think we will be eating muffins and cookies for dinner tonight....and tomorrow.  I wonder if the eye of the storm passing over us actually helped because those north of us got the wind and surge and those south got the flooding.  And there we sat in the quiet eye of the storm eating popcorn and watching movies.

The shoreline is gone.  The AC boardwalk is gone.  Philly and NYC and northern Jersey is out of electric and flooded.  One town lost their dam and flooded. Another caught on fire and burned down. The islands are shore to bay flooded.  It is really sad. The local area looks good and seems like most have electric. I hardly saw a tree down.  But after the June storm....I think it was a blessing to the area to finally be given a break.  We are still doing clean up from that storm!!

Halloween has been canceled in NJ which will be upsetting to a lot of children that need some sort of normalcy.  But then who would be handing out the treats when most are in shelters or with friends and family? 

Kids are back to school and trying to cram school work and parties and activities all in a day or two which should be interesting! But the silver lining is our kids are back to school.  It is more than most who sit at home still because they can't get there or their school is a shelter.

Todd drove all the way up to Trenton for work only to find the state offices are shut down and most of Trenton is out of electric! Well, instead of groaning and rolling over to take another nap because I put the updates on again, he should have watched it cause I knew it was hit!  So heaven knows what he is doing for work today.

Myself? I have to sort and put my house back in order. 

We did get two nice roof leaks in the bathroom which has NOT made me happy.  #1 Cause I seriously do not want to be dealing with that!! #2 Todd won't know how and I will either have to call someone in or wack Todd a few time with a pot to get his butt up and at least try!! You see we STILL have repair work from Hurricane Irene.  She came for a visit LAST fall!  I am all for repairing the drywall myself. Not so sure how to find the cause of the leak though. I think that water simply came in the vents on the roof from the direction of the wind and rain but I don't know and we have to find out where the issue is.  Which should be fun.
 

Off to decide where to begin?  Emptying the tub of emergency water.....putting the bottles of water and all away....putting Halloween decor back out..........picking up the tons of Barbies that were left all over Delaneys and my room while she played during the storm............oh the challenge of where to begin..........

Hang on to your underwear.........

The storm is going to give us a direct hit!
Batten down the hatches, hold onto your underwear, get ready for a ride and stay safe!!

WHO invited Sandy for Trick or Treat anyway??!

HERE WE GO AGAIN......

Here comes another hurricane knocking on our door.  I think after last years Irene and all the floods we had, everyone is in a panic.  Shelves are cleaned out.  You can't find a generator within a 3 state area.  If you need a flash light you better pray for one cause you won't find it.  And it has been like that since about Wednesday.

Thank goodness I picked up flashlights last week for the Lancaster trip for just in case.  Todd was lucky to be number 19 in a truck load of 21 generators that arrived yesterday. After one bad hurricane and one bad storm in less than a year that left houses in the dark for weeks, we decided it was time to suck it up and get one!!  I picked up enough to get us through for several days with or without electric. If nothing else we shall survive on pb&j, muffins and cookies! Cars are tanked up.  My checking account is depleted.  But hey.....we are ready to ride it out.

I think what makes it hard for everyone is the thought of such a slow moving storm, going 3-4 days long with rain the whole time.  That rain has to go someplace.  And that is what is worrying everyone the most. I think we have learned we can survive without electric.  But we do not want to deal with indoor basement pools that were not planned. 

So as we hunker down and prepare.....I wanted to post Megans homecoming pictures in case I wasn't able to for a while.....

This was her 1st big dance!!  Bad toe and all.  She wore the heels for pictures but took them off at the door for the night.  She survived!!  And had a lot of fun on her 1st big highschool event.

 Homecoming 2012

 Lance and Megan. 

 With Lances sister and date.....

GOT 'CHA!!!!!

Lancaster and Cherry Crest Farms