There's a spider in my underwear!

Man, that title can mean soooooooooo much!

I would like to say it is a joke. That I put it there to just catch your attention. But there really IS a spider in my underwear. Ok, the underwear part really was to catch your attention. He is actually in my red clothes hamper which hasn't included underwear in red for me in years. And that too can mean soooooooooooo much!

I was doing laundry and pulled out a towel and there he was. This big, black, jumping kind of spider just staring me down. Daring me to do something. He was huge! Ready to take me out if I moved. And I moved alright. More like screamed and jumped almost through the ceiling. Just in case you forgot a previous post about my fear of bugs, a spider in my laundry basket was not a good thing indeed.

I broke out in a sweat. My heart rate increased. My body began to tremble. And I froze and stared back at him. Afraid he might do something if I moved a body part. Not sure what he could do but I was thinking that jumping on me would probably be the death of me where I stood and I wasn't' going to give him any ideas. And I stood there debating on what direction I should take.

My 1st thought was to run fast and slam the door. But that left him alone and alive and free to come after me. He was a spider after all and could climb to anywhere in the house after me. And the thought of leaving him there to attack me when I had to open the door to do more laundry was not a pleasing thought. I would have to go back in there again cause eventually I would run out of underwear. He truly had me pinned up against a wall.

So there I stood trying to get my brave on. I opened the toilet lid, grabbed about 1/2 a box of tissues in both hands, took about 10 deep breaths while I stared him down, then went for it.....and missed. This resulted in another scream and jump and violent shake of my body. The tissue was not going to work.

I could reach in and pull the towels out and stomp on him. No. That would put my body too close to his and that is too risky in the jumping on me factor. Or, heaven forbid, climbing up my arm before I let the towel go!

So I ran to the pantry and grabbed an old bug spray left from the summer, thanked the Lord for making me get an extra can and ran back in and stared him down again. Yes, I sprayed the bug along with all my clothes in the basket. And I sprayed the basket. The side of the hamper. The towels again. Him through the hamper. Ok maybe I over did it but in that moment I still don't' think it was enough! When the smoke and fumes cleared I stood and waited. He didn't move. I kicked the side of the basket. He didn't move. I moved closer and blew on him and then slightly shook the side. He didn't move. I am thinking he was either playing dead and hoping I would go away or I accomplished my goal. I didn't stick around to find out. I sprayed one more time for good measure, turned on the fan and slammed the door.

I won't know until about noon when Ryan, my son, comes home and I tell him to go down and see if he lives. There is NO way I am taking any chances. I did as much as this old heart can take! The BOY can do the rest!

I would like to say he is gone. That he is just a bug and I am much bigger and introduced him to his maker. He gave a challenge and I took him down! But let this be a lesson that size does not always matter. And if he is in there still.....neither does clean underwear!