The joy of a new swimsuit

It is that time of the year. And don't we all just love the job of hunting for that new swimsuit?? Makes little difference if you are a size 3 or a size 33. We all put that swimsuit on, stand in front of the carnival mirror in the dressing room with our pale winter skin and cry!

I almost forgot I had to get a swimsuit. I believe that was my brains way of trying to hide from the horror that was to come! Then I came home from that big shopping spree about two weeks ago and realized that I had to replace my swimsuit from last year. Actually I believe I have to replace TWO of them but I took tiny steps and we went with one. Plus...it took everything in me to get just that one as it was!

I went to Kohls just up north of me. And you would have thought a hurricane had gone through that store! I have never seen such a mess! I hunted for a good hour and finally gave up.

I trugged last night to the Kohls closer to me and it wasn't as bad. They must have nicer and more sympathic store workers there. They had tried their best to keep the bottoms with the tops and the sizes together. Course they were on the wrong hangers which made going to the dressing room interesting. Nothing can be much more depressing than to try on a size 10, for example, only to realize it was on the wrong hanger and you just spent 20 min trying to squeeze your butt into a size 5!

I must have tried on 8 swimsuits or more. Either the tops was ok but the bottom didn't fit. Or the bottom fit but the top was too big. And what is with this years style of low cut tops!? Whoever designed these things obviously was a man without boobs! And without young children that use your swimsuit top to hold onto while they kick their legs in the pool! Or ever run after a child on the beach!!!!! That little thin shoestring was NOT going hold my girls in. Not with the gapping, low cut, plunge to your midrib cage style that I had going on! Seriously! Like they were not going to flop out for a peek the 1st time I bend over to pick up a shovel in the sand!

My 20 year old perky boobs are a thing for history books! Ok....maybe not the history books but you get the idea! Momma needs SUPPORT! Dare I say is? I am knocking on the door of old lady swimsuits! *GASP*

Well there was no way I was going in THAT department. Not yet. They will have to drag me there 1st. So, for over an hour, I squeezed my butt....and boobs....into every little youthful swimsuit I could find. I hunted in desperation for that perfect swimsuit that was cute, young and fresh but offered more than a thin spaghetti strap! I finally found one.

I think. Cause you know you have to stare at yourself in that carnival mirror for a good 15 min more to try and envision yourself in real life with that swimsuit on. Bend over and make sure the girls stay in. Squat so that you know there is no wedgy when you bend over for that shovel. All that while chasing your 4 yr old in the dressing room who is crawling under the stalls! Then you pay for it, with doubt in your heart, and take it home.

That is when the truth is seen. In real light. In a real mirror. Without the distraction of your 4 yr old to take your mind off what is about to happen. And you spend another 15 min looking at yourself to decide if indeed this one is it! And if it gets the thumbs up on the look....the real test..........the pool!

I haven't gotten there yet. The swimsuit is still in the bag. I am stalling. I know. But sometime today I have to take it out......

Pray I do not have to go back again. Looking for that swimsuit is just too much like work!