Is that the child we really want to raise?

I get about a good 10 minutes each morning at best to catch a glimpse of the news in between daycare arrivals, making peanut butter sandwiches and school buses.  Over the last few weeks I am amazed at what I get to see! There is the usual shooting and natural disasters and weather man reports. But what I find amazing lately is the parenting reports. 

One day there was the "spanking causes mental issues later in life" report.  Then there was the "time outs are bad and cause children to have lower self esteem" report.  Those are mixed in with the "every child should win" stories and the "children should be taught to not have to share" report that was on recently.  Most times I shake my head.  The book stores are filled with a mix of confusing parenting advise that parents do not seem to know which to believe. Now we get to view it on our television sets in the morning. 

Today was the final straw.  Today's report was "we should not tell our children no!".

We are teaching our children that they are entitled with these views.  That they can do anything they please and have no consequence for their actions.  Telling a child NO is not a bad thing.  It teaches limits and rules.  It helps them understand safety and a better understanding of their environment.  It also teaches who is in control.  By allowing our children to follow these new and latest theories we are teaching our children nothing of value. 

Or at least values I am certain I do not want MY children to know.

I do not want my children rewarded a prize for playing soccer with no rules so that "everyone wins" and allow them to think that they do not have to work hard in life.  You are not handed promotions and raises because you just show and take up a desk at a job.  There are winners and there are losers in life.  I want my children to learn from their failures and to use those failures to improve themselves.  That is how we learn.  That is how we advance and grow.  Life does not hand them rewards for nothing.

I do not want my children to think that behaviors like hitting and pushing and running in the road does not get punishments like a time out!  These are unacceptable behaviors!  You do not go through life doing whatever you please with no ramifications for your thoughts and actions.  I want my children to learn respect and empathy and to follow directions.  I want them to understand that doing inappropriate things result in a punishment so that next time they understand it is not ok to do it again.

I do not want my children to have to share.......oopps. Ok so I kind of agree with this one. In a small way.  I do not teach my children that they must give up what they are playing with to give to another child simply because the other child asked for it.  That takes us back to entitlement.  A child demanding a sand toy and receiving it because the other child should share it not ok. But I also want them to learn to share with others as well.  That makes for kind and caring adults.  To allow a child to play with something and then teach them to say "I am not done with it yet but I will give it to you in a few minutes' or to say "I am playing with it now but would you like to play with me too" would be much nicer. It teaches the child asking for the item to wait and not demand.  It teaches the child with the toy compassion and love for others.

I guess I do not understand all these new parenting thoughts.  Maybe I am turning into an old lady stuck in my old lady ways.  But I know what I do not want.  I do not want the children these theories will produce.  I am proud of my children.  They are caring and giving kids.  They do not get into trouble and show respect for others around them.  They know their actions can hurt and learn to say sorry for it.  They are compassionate and empathic and loving.

I know what I do want.  I want NO in my house.  It is allowed.  I am allowed to say and so are my children.  Maybe my children will end up on some drs couch for it in the end but right now I will stay away from these parenting ideas.  I say NO to them!  I know THAT is not the child I want to raise.

Say WHAT?!

My youngest, Delaney is in girl scouts.  Brownies to be exact.  We are gearing up for a camping trip and I am not sure which I am going to have fun with more.......the camping with my daughter or the camping with the other moms.

Delaney is all full of excitement over the trip.  She wants to do everything and then some.  So I am voting in favor of the other moms.

When the moms all voted that we should do a trip to the spa next year instead of camping and the leader asked if anyone knew campfire songs and you could already hear the sounds of crickets, I knew this was going to be one fun weekend.  If nothing else I get the feeling I am going to be laughing my head off.

Listen.  I do not profess to be some sort of outback survivor.  We like doing outdoors things like rafting and hiking but in the end mommy wants her ac/cable tv/fluffy mattress filled room with running water, a toilet and a restaurant preferred. But I wasn't going to complain.  This was an adventure with my daughter.  I am game and ready. I view it kind of like a bug.  Outside I shrug my shoulders and squish the bug cause I don't want my daughter to be scared but inside I am secretly screaming and having a panic attack and when I clean up the dead bug I go to the bathroom for a good cry.  I think this camping trip is going to be a bug.  I shall slap on my old sneeks, pull my hair into a baseball cap and suck it up.  Its for my daughter after all. I'm game.

The other moms?  Not so much!

There will be no experienced hikers in this group or ones who love to fish or can stir up one mighty fine 3 course meal by the light of a camp fire while singing jazzy and exciting campfire songs.  I have heard a lot of groans during the planning and one mom asking if she can bring her tv and another who said that if her daughter didn't know about this trip she so wouldn't be going. The loud hurrah for a spa next year was the final straw for me. Inside I am already giggling.  This is going to be soooooooooooooo fun!

Ok. I admit I am stocking up on bug spray and already have enough lights to bring a small passenger plane in for a landing and I do plan to bring a cooler for our tent cause not only will Delaney starve with FISH for dinner but, well, mommy might want an oreo on occasion.  And I hand picked the mom and daughter we will room with.  First cause they seem nice.  Second cause she was the one that said she would stay home if her daughter didn't know about the trip.  Come on.  How could I resist? I envision a lot of laughing in that tent! 

The only thing that I myself will not do on this trip is fish.  I will hike. I will go out for hours hunting leaves of every kind in a downpour wearing my lovely poncho as it clings to my damp and humid legs. I will jump in the lake with my daughter and swim.  I will pick ticks off us and even squish a bug.  I will attempt campfire pancakes which I am not so sure will be edible.  But I will not, in any way, fish! Momma don't touch no fish!  I don't catch them. I don't remove them from the hook. I sure am NOT gutting and cleaning them.  And there is no way on this living planet I am going to TOUCH THE WORM TO CATCH IT.  This was just announced today that we have to provide our own worms and I draw the line. I have limits.  And I think that Delaney isn't likely either.  And if the other spa loving moms are a preview into this story, I think it safe to say that when the leader asks where our worms are there will be a long silence filled with cricket music (and my laughter as the leader has to bait, unhook and clean 20 fish as we watch).  I see some sketchy fishing badges coming from this trip.

You know this is going to be good!

I will lay on my sleeping bag covered cot, covered in bug spray with my tent lit up like a mansion and eating my oreos while I laugh with "not going camping" mom over the adventures of the day and after the fishing experience I see coming........

maybe plan for the spa trip next year with them.

I do not believe my week can get much better than this!

I awoke this morning late with my alarm blaring.  A good 20 minutes late in fact. I am a light sleeper so for my alarm to be roaring some song for 20 minutes is a shock in itself and just a taste of how my morning was going to go.  I jumped out of bed and ran for Megans room since she gets up first and is now late getting in the shower.  This is not good if you know my daughter at all.  A minute late means missing the bus for Megan.  She is a snail with long hair and skinny jeans.

As I run past the kitchen I see a note that she has wet jeans in the washer that she decided to throw in last minute last night before bed and they need to go in the dryer.  I sigh because everything is always last minute with Megan and this is not unusual to see a note about wet clothes and turning on the dryer in the morning.  BUT we are 20 minutes behind and that is 20 minutes those jeans do not have. 

I run and kick her out of bed and make a mad dash downstairs to the dryer.  This now has me about 30 minutes behind myself.  I run back up and into my bathroom and start to get ready only to hear BANG BANG BANG.  My eye squints in anger and think that surely this cannot be an early daycare arrival THIS early!  I run to the window and look for a car...........nothing.  Back in I go and I hear BANG again.  Thinking it is probably Megan dropping the shampoo, I begin to head in the shower myself.  BANG!!!!!!!!!!  Ok...now I know this is not just me hearing things. I throw on something and go check on Megan and ask if she is ok.  Her comment........

"NO! I am not ok.  The bathroom door is stuck!  I told Dad it was having a problem but he didn't fix it and now I cannot open it!"

You see we have about the cheapest doorhandles the builder could find put on this house when they built it.  This is not the first time having this issue but usually it is a closet door where you can pry it open.  This is the first time someone got stuck in a room and couldn't turn the handle. 

I grasp the handle and tug.  Nothing.  I try the other way.  Nothing.  I push and turn in some odd hope it would work. Nothing.  Then I bust up laughing.  I know Megan does not find this funny and neither should I but after the week I had, this is just about the cherry to my cake!  It is more a laugh of disbelief but laugh I do. 

I run and grab a hammer and some screw drivers and rush back.  I am able to push the hammer and a screw driver under the door and tell her to work on the hinges while I am on the outside working on the handle.  Neither is budging. 

I call Todd at work and after a few comments about how the saying 'why put off till tomorrow what you can do today' should become his new study in life, I ask for directions on how to get the handle off the door!!!  Here is the next funny part...........it is on backwards.  The screws are INSIDE! 

I bust up laughing again.  This seriously cannot be happening!  I imagine what I would have done and how firefighters would now be in my house had it been Delaney behind that door!  WHAT else can go wrong??!

Well let me tell you what else can go wrong.  Nothing is moving. The screws are tights.  The hinges won't budge.  It takes us forever to get the handle off. I can now see the "tongue" of the door handle in the opening. ( I will call it a tongue for lack of a better handyman term but you should get the general idea that I am referring to the little thing that slides in and out of the jam.)  I think we are almost done.  OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH NO!  It is jammed inside the door jam and will not move.  I push. I pry. I jam screw drivers in and say some words that are not very nice especially in my jammies at 6 in the morning in front of my daugher!  I am able to pry it off with some pliers.  Thinking that is the end?  OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH NO!  It breaks off into the door jam.  That door is not going anywhere!

Megan goes back to banging hinges while I giggle some insane laugh, wake Ryan to help and thinking if I should call 911.  Ryan comes up, looks at the door, announces it is stuck and he is going back to bed!  He is tired, cant do anything and we are keeping him awake!  He is so spreading the brotherly love.

Finally.  30 minutes later Megan gets the hinges off the door and we pry the door from the frame.

I would love to say that this is the end of my crazy morning but early arrivals for work, not getting a shower, rushing to wake Delaney who is now 30 minutes behind herself, eating breakfast running out the door and my dog pooping in the house cause no one took her out in the craziness....just about topped it off.

I do not believe my week can get much better than dog poop, late alarms, 911 and Megan stuck in the bathroom with no way out!!  Nope.  Just do not think so...................

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

Things we thought we hated.

I remember when I was growing up going to visit my great grandparents in Georgia. And I remember hating it! I hated the long ride and I hated Georgia with a passion.  Could not figure out why anyone would ever want to live there and I would give an inner grown when we passed the "Welcome to Georgia" sign on the highway. 

To me Georgia was smelly.  There was the smell of the pines everywhere mixed with humidity and a lovely whiff of what I believe was a paper mill plant nearby.  I associated that smell with Georgia and hated it. 

There was bug too.  BIG bugs.  Bugs that looked like they would chew your leg off if you stood still long enough.

There were tall pine trees and pine needles covered everything from the roof to the cars to the ground. 

My great grandparents house was....well....an old persons home.  It had a hot house attached where lizards would come and warm up and a piano and it smelled like my great grandparents. 

I remember the time my grandparents sent us down there for the summer.  I cried all the way down.  Cried each night.  And hated every minute of it.  It wasn't so much spending the entire summer with my great grandparents but it was spending it away from my family, friends and home.  I was extremely homesick and only made my hate of Georgia greater.

When my great grandparents passed away, I was happy to never set foot in that state again.  Grandma great was the last to pass away and we spent a good week down there one last time in 1986 packing away and selling and closing up a house I would never see again.  As a teenager it didn't bother me. I had no connection to that house and what was done was done.......

Or so I thought.

As I get older I remember those days differently.  Those sights and smells that turned me off then brings a smile to my face now and sadness to my heart.  It has been over 27 years since I stepped foot in Georgia and now I am rather sad for it. 

Ok. I might not miss the bugs big enough to saddle up and ride on.  But I so miss that house.  I miss the pine needles that covered it. I miss the trips we did down there and the adventures we had.  I miss the flowered bedsheets that smelled like my great grandparents. I miss the homemade quilts she made with her own hands that covered the bed. I remember laying there and fingering those quilts and wondering from what shirt or dress that swatch came from and the history behind it. I miss playing in her two bottom drawers which was filled with old jewelry and her playing piano in the evenings.

I miss Fozzie (my great grandpa) who was handsome even in his old age. I remember him being quiet but firm. I remember him walking around not in jeans and a teeshirt but slacks and button up shirt that was neatly pressed. 

I miss how we walked to the post office with Grandma great each day cause she didn't drive. I remember that walk so well that I was able to pull up google map and relocate that house going the route to the post office. 

I miss her roses in the back yard and the dolls she had in her sewing room where she made me doll clothes.  I miss Piggly Wiggly and going shopping with them. 

I miss Tybee Island and going swimming on the beach. I still have a pair of earrings from the last trip there.  They are a gold pair of star fish and it brings a smile to my face when I see them.

I miss trips to Savannah.  What I thought was boring then is beautiful now. I remember walking the river front and taking the paddle boat cruise to Fort Pulaski. 

I remember going to some church in Savannah one Sunday. I wish I could remember the name of it.  It was hot that day and the church had no ac.  The windows and doors were opened wide and a breeze blew it.  It was all white and bright and lovely.  I hated then having to sit in that pew for an hour in the heat.  I wish I could find that church today.

I remember going to Juliette Lows house and walking around the willow graced streets that surrounded it.

I remember hating those things back then.  They disrupted my life back then.  It was a yearly trip I greatly disliked.  And yet.....I remember them like yesterday and wish I could bring it all back today.   Those memories bring back family and laughter and love. Those memories that I thought I hated so much back then, I remember with sadness of a time long gone now.

 How our tastes change as we grow older.  Things we thought we hated we really truly loved.

Why haven't I?

Why haven't I blogged lately?  Hummmm well half is because I am rather living in an allergy fog and a drug induced fog or a combo of both.  I was complaining about how spring seems to have forgotten us.  It has been so cold.  The leaves hardly wanted to burst open in the coldness we have been having this spring.  It has been only about two weeks of mild-don't need the actual snow coat-type of weather.  But still rather chilly.

In that sun and remotely close spring weather, came the pollen and there has been no peace in this house since.  Five of us here and four are walking around with tissues stuffed to our faces and hidden in every pocket!!

We are keeping the makers of Allergra very happy and in business.  Going through it like candy on Halloween and fighting to see who gets the last one in the box and who gets to drive to the store to get more. 

It is tiring and snotty business.

With it comes not wanting to do much but sit stare brain dead in a drug induced coma at the flowers and wish for another box of tissues and bed.

Along with sniffling we are also finishing up the school year and preparing for summer.  Delaney has taken a break from swimming for the summer. I figured it was ok since she would be living in the pool anyway and it was one more day to sit at night and do nothing which you all know I look forward to in the summer.  Ryan is finishing up college and Megan is counting down the days till she thinks she will be sleeping the days away.

With all the cool air, it is hard to believe we will be opening the pool in four weeks. I know I won't be in it!!  It must get much warmer than this for me to stick a toe in!!  But we are making plans for the warm weather days.  I am planning daycare activities and lining up spots.  We are also planning vacation which we are very excited about this year and looking forward to. 

It will be nice to sit outside and let the warm sun bask me in its glory.......and to not need a box of tissues stuffed up my nose.......

count down...........40.....39.......38................

Remember

I was up last night looking at the latest update on the Boston bombing.  Seeing what new info they had found and viewing, yet, more pictures.  Megan walks by and says "Your still looking at that?!"  It kind of took me back.  Why WAS I still looking at it? It was about the most grotesque and widely media advertised disaster simple because of so many cell phones and camera.  Similar pictures all taken at different angels.  Horrible pictures that even though you look at them you never can truly understand because we weren't there.  Was I some weirdo to just keep looking and looking at such morbid things?

No.

I think what I look for is understanding.  To try and understand the mind of the person who did it.  To pray for those effected and to wish a fast hunt for those who caused it.  I want to understnad the families because it brings you closer.  I want to understand the time line as it effects who walked away and who didn't.  I want to............understand.

I guess we never will.  If we understood the mind of the person who did things like this, we would be one of them.  But I guess I want to try and wrap some part of my mind around the sadness so I can at least try and grasp it because I find it evasive in my thinking.

And I want to remember.

We all remember the faces of the children in Sandy Hook.  We remember where we were during 911 when the plane hit.  We remember an image that stays with us from the Oklahoma bombing.  We remember.  And by remembering we remember the lives lost and that allows them to live forever.  It, I would like to think, maybe changes the future too. Maybe some one, some where, looking will see what their action causes and maybe, just maybe not do it again.  Wishful thinking I am sure but it really is all we have to work with. Hope.

This is the image that speaks to me.  There were so many.  So many that stay in your mind.  But the look on this girls face speaks what everyone was thinking.  It is shock.  It is hurt.  It is pain.  It is what will be in my heart every time I think of the day Boston was bombed. I can feel her feelings. It is shouting out to you.  It is heartbreaking.  I will remember.

So no. I do not think it is morbid. It is not something we want to see.  But by seeing we remember and that is something I think every single victim needs at this moment.  To be remembered.

A typical daycare providers conversation.....

Keep the sand in the sandbox please.

KEEP the sand in the sandbox!

I said keep the sand in the sandbox!!

KEEP THE SAND IN THE SANDBOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT MEANS PUT IT BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Oooooooooooo"

HAPPY EASTER!

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent~Victor Hugo

I was talking recently with someone who also runs a family daycare about rules and guidelines and things they enforce or don't.  Comparing notes and telling war stories amongst ourselfs.  In talking I mentioned that Delaney loves her VBS music and was dancing with the children.  My friend mentioned how she would never allow Christian music in her daycare.  That it could be offensive to others.  This got me thinking....was I being intrusive on others beliefs by allowing Delaney to play Christian children songs? Its not like she was playing it to teach them a lesson.  She was playing it because they were dancing and laughing and enjoying themselves. 

I guess I never thought of it before and the chat made me think "why".  Why have I never thought of it before? I am not one to push my beliefs on another.  A missionary I am not. So I thought long and hard on this during one of my morning chat to myself sessions.

I think I don't mind because....well.... I am a dancer.  I know that is heading into another field of conversation and sounds rather simplistic but the reality is I don't view music as offensive or idealistic.  I view it as....music.  Something to listen to and move ones soul. It can have words.  It can be classical or country or modern.  It makes little difference to me. Music is moving.

I care little if a Jewish child were to come and ask me to put on Hava Nagila.  Or a child wanted me to play Hindu music.  To me music is about movement.  About beauty.   Music can teach and talk to you.  It fills your spirit. It tells history and about new beginnings.  It is sad and joyful and funny and serious.  If you close your eyes and listen and feel, Hava Nagila can move your soul the same as Pachelbel canon or This Little Light of Mine.  It isn't about pushing beliefs on anyone.  It is about..........music.

I am Christian.  Anyone that comes to my daycare knows this.  I don't shy away from it.  And I won't teach my daughter to feel embarrassed about who she is either by hiding it.  Nor will I tell another child they cannot openly be who they are and share too.  Isn't this what life is about?  People with different beliefs all blending together?  It is those who are accepting of themselves and others that makes life worth while. This is how we learn from each other, grow, love others and accept. To ME there is no right or wrong.  No one comes to my daycare or my home and feels that they cannot openly be who they are.  That they can not talk about their beliefs and that we cannot love them all the same no matter what. It is simply joyous to dance no matter what the music is. The children's laughter clearly says I am right. Perhaps it isn't so much the children who are unsure if the music is ok but rather the adult who sees far more into something than it should be.

So.....I allow my child to have dance classes to Christian music with the daycare children. Or Hindu or Jewish or Irish or Polish or etc etc etc. All races and creeds are welcome here.  And I hope that it isn't about forcing beliefs and traditions on another but rather accepting each other and allowing the music to move ones soul.

To dance like no one is watching and love yourself........and others........... for it. 

If that is offensive to another then I suppose my daycare isn't the place for them after all.

Welcoming the new addition to the family

Well my dishwasher took a dive.

It hasn't been washing the dishes well since Christmas.  I shouldn't really complain.  It is 10 years old and runs twice a day between the kids, the family and the daycare.  She has been good to me and never once a repair except for a missing screw. Every day I turned her on and she happily hummed through her job and didn't once ask for a thing or complain.

Todd, being raised by a woman and no men in the house, wanted to whip out the check book and run to Homedepot at the first sign of a dirty spot.  But me, being raised by a man who fixed anything that didn't move faster than him, said "Lets try and fix it". I mean after all we had no clue what was actually wrong with it.  I didn't grow up in a disposable household. Things were taken care of and nurtured and fixed and nurtured some more. So after much whining and a lot of stalling he tried repairing it.

It didn't work

So we finally called the repair man in.  He laughed at me.  Said Todd and were backwards.  Usually the man fixes and the woman grab the checkbook.  Then he sadly broke the news........ The pump was going and as hard as the dishwasher was trying to pump out the dirty and bring in the clean, she just couldn't do it anymore. She was slowly and sadly shutting down. And the cost for repair was more than replacement. It was time for the old girl to go.

Todd gave me the "I told you so" look and happily ran for the car with checkbook in hand.

It took two days to pick the dishwasher. Another fours days to deliver.  Another 4 days before anyone had time to start putting it in.  Two grown men and two more days to install.  And the best part?  I don't like it! 

Thats right.  Thinking on returning it. I am sure that Todd and my neighbor will be thrilled when I tell them to haul it away back to the salesman that had the nerve to sell it to me in the first place.  No sorry.... Correction.  Sell it to TODD.  See Todd picked out this lovely appliance. I like google. I like to read reviews.  I don't often purchase things or go places without looking up reviews.  Todd teased me about this and ended up picking this dishwasher.  Perhaps he should have googled. 

The contractor grade old one cleaned my dishes for 10 years.  It fairly dried them well too. She was noisy but in a house full of kids and barking dogs, one hardly noticed.  This one my dishes are soaked.  It takes three hours or more to wash them. I have to put it on the highest water heat setting and it still isn't drying them.  I am not sure how this is energy efficient.  And I don't like having to dry the dishes after paying an arm and leg for a brand new dishwasher that should be doing it for me. 

Momma is not pleased.  And this little lady might be seeing the inside of the discount section of HomeDepot.

So.....welcome....for not..........Miss GE dishwasher.  But you better get your act together or your days are numbered!

Something to be said for the old. 

Gee thanks for the fun times!

As if I didn't have enough to do daily, Delaney's school thought it might be 'fun' to start a puppet theater.  Each child had to bring in their favorite book and make a puppet based on the book. 

I knew I was in trouble when they asked the children to bring in the books to approve them.  They never came back.  The teacher is keeping them in a bin to read through each book.  They will be returned later.  Only.....you have to make a puppet based on the book......and you don't have the book!

I am not sure WHO thought this was going to be fun but it surely was not a parent!

After panic eased, I took a deep breath and thought that Delaneys puppet should be fairly easy.  Her book is "I am a rainbow" by Dolly Parton.  The book doesn't really have a main character.  Each color is a new character telling about how the color on the page makes them feel.

Time to rethink.  I don't have the book.  I don't have a main character anyway.  What to do?

Off I ran to the store for supplies....eyes....a sock.....hair......etc etc etc.

We began our 'fun' project this weekend.  Delaney painted rainbow stripes on the arm of the puppet.  The rest is obviously beyond Delaney's craft skills so today Mommy gets to piece it together.

I tried hot gluing the hair on.  Which didn't hold down each strand so I had to slip the puppet on my hand and sew the hair on with the other.  I hot glued on eyelashes and eyes.  Then painted on the nose and mouth which promises to be a challenge.  MY hand is not the same size as a 3rd grader and I fear that "Dollys" mouth might end up either INSIDE her mouth or on top of her face.  It is a sock so one can only hope it can be shifted around.  And because each childs hand would differ I opted not to include a tongue pretty much for the same reasons.

So here I sit....paint coated, hot glue gun burned looking at the Dolly puppet who is a rainbow.

They better be super happy cause I know I am.  I am FINALLY done my....um....I mean Delaneys homework!

Thumbs up school.  Thanks so much for the added activity.  It was so "FUN"! *insert eye roll here*

Now....to add or not to add Dolly boobs??????

Happy Birthdays Everywhere!

I am a little behind on posting Delaneys birthday pictures.  That poses a problem because now it is Ryans birthday and I am now jammed up on birthday wishes and pictures and all that fun stuff.  Only good thing is that I have no pictures of Ryans birthday yet....it is today and he is still in bed. I guess I could sneak in and snap a shot of the birthday boy but I am thinking he would not be very happy with me so to spare my life, I shall wait on birthday picture posting for Ryan!

Delaneys birthday party was, well, exactly two weeks ago and she had a blast!  I would love to show you 200 wonderful shots of glorious birthday celebration but it was in the dark skating rink and my camera is not the best so getting shots that were not blurry from moving 8 year olds or dark from dim rink lights is rare so you get what you get and know that you do not need to make an appointment for an eye check up.  It is totally me! I can continue to blame the camera but you will see I also took pictures at home and they are not much better. 

My sweet Delaney is offically 8 years old. I cannot understand where that time went! It seems to have skimmed by just as fast as the children in these pictures.......

HAPPY 8TH BIRTHDAY DELANEY! Mommy loves you!

AND......

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY RYAN!
Officially at 5:55 this morning you turned 20.  I remember the day like it was yesterday.  Not because of the whole birth process and all the pain mothers complain about...but because this was the day I first fell in love with the sweetest man in my life.  May you have many more blessed birthdays!

My sweet, sweet daughter

Delaney has a friend who she wants to come to her birthday party.  The little girl had broken her foot and since Delaney was having a skating party, was unsure if she should invite her friend as she didn't want her to feel bad because she couldn't skate.  I saw the mother and child at another birthday party and spoke with the mother.  Delaney was very pleased to hear she would be having her cast removed a week before the party and would be able to come.  Off they skipped happily together.....as much as a casted foot would allow.

What I immediately saw when I met this child was that she obviously has a lot of medical issues.  Her gait unsure.  Her face clearly showing bone structure abnormalities.  I, of course, said nothing but felt so sorry for the little girl who would grow up having problems.

What I found though as I watched them play was that Delaney didn't see any of that.  The only thing she has ever noticed was that she was missing a single finger on her one hand.  Not the facial abnormalities.  Not the gait.  Not the delays.  A simple single finger.

It reminded me of another little boy in school she is friends with.  I met him last year in the school hallway.  He is extremely handicapped and cannot walk.  Mainly wheelchair bound and shorter than the other children.  Delaney talked about him like he was her best friend.  He was cute.  He was kind.  He was her friend. They often played together on the school playground.

It reminded me of when we went to Ronald McDonald house to make a dinner and Delaney happily played with the children who were there for medical reasons.  Children without legs.  Children with a lot of handicaps. Children with medical issues beyond my understanding.  Never once did she shy away or question it.

It reminded me of Grams and who Delaney loved playing with her even in the mist of her dementia.  Or the older people in the assisted living with her who Delaney made friends with each visit. Elderly people who she laughed with, danced for and took their hands to walk with.

I joked often that I was going to rent Delaney out to nursing homes but the truth is, Delaney has a gift way beyond many children.  I realized my daughter sees something far beyond what we would focus on or see.  Nothing really seems to matter. She sees beyond the surface and just accepts.   This child coming to her birthday party was simply her friend.  They laughed and giggled together.  Delaney was so happy she would be able to come.  I came to see that Delaney has a special gift of simply loving someone for who they are.  The old, the senile, the handicapped, the person most would shy away from due to lack of understanding.  She simply.....

.........loves.

It is a special gift indeed.

How get rid of the energy of a puppy?

Have your 7yr old put on roller skates.  Hook the puppy to a leash and let them go around and around and around till they are both out of breath!

Peace!

What goes up......it pours. And all that jazzy stuff.

I woke this morning to the single beep of my fire alarm announcing to me at 4:30am that it was in need of batteries. Of course it could not wait until noon.  That would make life too boring.  I vaguely registered the announcement and rolled over to try and pretend I didn't hear it. Maybe it would go away if I pulled the blanket over my head and wished really hard. It came again. And again.  I was so tired that I probably could have actually fallen back to sleep through the beeps had it not been for the dog trying to cram her big body under my bed in a panic.

Cherokee does not like the fire alarm and the single beep set her into a run even though it wasn't its normal loud and long shrill.  But it was a warning she could not ignore and came running for help.  Under my bed.  Like it would protect her.  Maybe she was thinking if she hid under the blankets too it would go away.  She spent a good 15 min trying to dig her way under and as I lay there desperately trying to fall back to sleep I felt like I was on a vibrating bed as she shook under it.

I gave up and turned the news on. I sat there for a while watching in mind numbness a news anchor tell the daily report and I realized I never set my alarm clock.  Here I am awake, watching tv and am now a good 10 minutes late because I was waiting for it to go off.

I stumble out of bed and get Megan up and get myself ready.  The fire alarm is still beeping and Cherokee is now hiding in my shower.  I take time that I do not have to unplug the alarm if not for her sanity then for mine.  Silence.  I tell Cherokee she can come out of hiding.......just in time for another one down the hall to go off too.  I am now VERY VERY late.

I do not have time to sweep the snow that fell last night off my car to take Megan to the bus stop and she has to make a run for it.  I am now running myself to get Delaney up and lunch made before my 1st daycare arrival.  I didn't make it.

The arrivals are coming one after another along with a ton of Valentines bags and gifts and I am still elbow deep in peanut butter and chips.  I rush everyone in and out, slap the sandwich in the lunch box, throw the lunch box in the backpack and take a breath.  Only to have Delaney cry that her teachers gifts for Valentines day were not ready to go.

Now I am normally on the ball with things like that.  Gifts bought and packed and wrapped and waiting often weeks ahead of time.  Only the gift she told her teacher she was bringing was end of the school year gifts! Not Valentines Day. She is crying because she cannot go empty handed now so I am running to find anything remotely close to a Valentines gift bag in between door bell rings. I find some Snowman bags with hearts on them and grab those along with tissue paper and throw them in her back pack too just as the bus is pulling up.

Now one would think that was the end but oh no.  Not really.  That would make life too boring remember.

I have someones bottle bag leaking milk all over my kitchen table, chairs and floor.  I unpack another and find one mom switched her childs lunch with hers and the toddler now has cheese enchiladas for lunch and mom has the chicken nuggets. I turn on the tv to it blaring an infomercial and cannot find the remote that Todd lost last night. A daycare child has arrived crying and spilled his cereal all over the floor.  And a baby has arrived with the mother announcing she is cranky. The baby that is.  Not the mother.

I clean up the milk, unpack the diaper bags, put the cheese enchilada in the freezer for a rainy day, lay the babies down for naps, take the left over gift wrap stuff downstairs, clean up the cereal, hide the squealing alarms,  find the remote, turn on Thomas the Train, grab my most healthy breakfast of......

......that someone so thoughtfully brought me for Valentines Day and said a prayer of peace.

"Lord give me strength.  And please make this doughnut make it all better"

It didn't.  But if felt sooooooooooo good going down.

Peace......

For now.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

This that and little of whatever

Since the holidays we....ok...I seem to be going in 5 different directions.  Did you ever have a day where you plan on cleaning up everything in one day but there is just so much to do that you begin pulling everything out and doing a little here and a little there cause you don't know where to begin and come 3pm in the evening you stop and turn and see everything exploded all over your house and nothing is actually really done??  Yeah.  Kinda like that.

Megan is back to school.  That is a plus.  But she had issue with an online class that some idiot sitting at desk in some big office in NJ decided was needed.  See they tried cramming a personal finance class into a 25 min opening slot in a school day.  This is a online run program with no actual teacher.  This, in itself, has been an issue. I think I saw red when I emailed her teacher for this class in the school about a concern and was told she really isn't the teacher.  She just babysits.  I have to contact the online supervisor who is the teacher. I do that and am told it isn't her job either and I have to call some 800 number of the people who made the program.  Yeah.  Well.  Lets just say that didn't exactly go over very well with me and I rather exploded.....and sent a copy to every possible leader, teacher, principal, director and maybe even a few janitors in the school district on my thoughts of this.  Yeah.  It has been way fun. Megan goes back in school after being sick and it is final week.  They won't let her take her final because.........#1 the site had been down for two weeks and she was behind #2 they don't have her logging in since Jan 8th and she can't do the final if she hasn't done the work. Only I personal KNOW she has been on cause Todd and I have been doing it!  Yes. I just admitted to doing my childs homework!  See this hour class turned into a 3-4 hour class....per day....5 days a week.  It simply was not meant to be done in a 25min slot.  So Todd and I have been on trying to keep her afloat as best as we could.  Make a loooooong story short Todd got to go in and explode all over everyone.  She was supposed to be allowed to finish the final. We are awaiting results on that.

Oh and next year this class will be a full slot class.  WITH A TEACHER.  Go figure. Sometimes a little bitching helps.

That brings me to cookie sales.  Almost done.  Yippie.  We are currently at 350 boxes sold.  I am rather done.  Done. Done.  And did I mention done?  It was a lot of work that the weather has not been cooperating on.  No fun lugging boxes of cookies in a wagon in snow, wind and 20 degrees.  But we trudged on and are down to the last few boxes.  However the leader has some left overs she is trying to push and so we are now doing yet another cookie booth to try and get rid of what cookies the troop have left.  Yea (said in a weak and mildly under-excited voice)

I have been working on vacation bible school things. Its early, Kim, you say?  Why, yes it is.  But I am setting up my 1st meeting with teachers and have packs to make and copies to run and schedules to schedule and have been working on that too.

And scheduling vacation too.  Its early for that too, Kim, you say?  Why, yes, yes it is. But we have a group going and I have to get an idea on how much it will cost and so have been booking hotels and planning schedules for that as well.

Delaney birthday is coming up.  She wanted a gym party again this year but when I went to book it a month and half ahead of time, I was told no room at the Inn.  So we redirected and she is having a roller skating party.  I have been looking for supplies and making favors and sending invites and making calls and ordering cakes.  And just when I am almost done on party planning, Ryan asks for a party too.  Ryan is going to be 20 two weeks after Delaney.  And he wants a party.  A soccer party.  A soccer party with pizza and guests and the works.  *sigh*  Really?!  I am debating between saying no out of exhaustion and um...dude your gonna be 20..... and yes out of quilt.  I will have to get back to you on that one.

Add in some stress at Delaneys school.  Lets see...where to begin......
Delaney is shy.  She doesn't like to talk in class and doesn't like being wrong even more.  She is a bit of a perfectionist and insanely in need of being right and not being laughed at.  This is effecting her class work.   She doesn't participate and only works in small groups.  Odd for a child that I would say is about my most outgoing child of the three but she IS unique and is who she is. She is a little of Ryan who will focus on one thing till it is perfect and a little of Megan who also would not talk in a class. 

What I am having issues with is her teacher who doesn't know how to work with her.  Or doesn't want to.  I told her to get her to do something...praise her. She will blossom.  Nothing.  I told her to get her to preform.....reward her. She will do whatever you want her to. Nothing.  What I did get was a notice saying she was having issues and we needed to deal with them.  If you remember I home schooled Delaney for a while.  In prek she was doing Kindergarten work.  In kindergarten she was doing 1st grade work. By the time I sent her off to school she was heading into 1st grade doing a 2nd grade level on work....for me.   Now I am getting that she is having issues and is falling behind in 2nd grade. Why? I get a notice home saying she can't do XYZ but she does it for me at the table.  She happily does homework.  She loves workbooks and stories.  I don't see an issue.  Having another child with a learning disability I know to look for signs. I don't see them. I think it is more a teacher not willing to take advise and rethink on what she normally does. Perhaps a teacher already overworked in a class of 23 kids and little time to think out of the box for one. But I gave the teacher the benefit of the doubt and took Delaney to our tutor. She is a special education teacher and was Ryans tutor and guide through school.  She tested Delaney and said....nothing wrong with this child other than a few bad habits in her reading she picked up from school.  They have gone from phonics that I taught her to site words and so she is having issues with decoding and sounding out but nothing that a few sessions can't correct.  I schedule lessons with her and she makes a note to the school and teacher for me.

 The teacher, not liking that I would even begin to doubt her suggestions, has retaliated with daily notes scribbled all over Delaneys school work. Extra work sent home with more notes scribbled on it.  Black sharpie marker notes all over her work that she did during the day. It is irritating me.  I am gearing up to attack.  Listen.....I have put three children through school.  One with a learning disability. I have been here and done it. I have dealt with some of the worse teachers and some of the best and have a whole new perspective on tenure and overworked teachers and special education and the whole public education as a whole.   And if I learned nothing in those first 12 years, it is that THEY work for me.  THEY don't tell ME what to do.  I tell them.  They might teach but I am who makes the choices on what is really taught and done. I am not a sit at home and do whatever you want parent.  I am involved.  I read. I research.  I find ways to make things work as I know not all children fall into a mold made by some school. And I do NOT take the easy road just to make life the of a teacher better and less stressful.  Delaney is bright and eager to learn.  She needs a teacher willing to help her grow.  This teacher can either redirect under my suggestions and watch Delaney grow and achieve or she and I will have some issues before the end of school year comes.  She might just want to put her black marker away too cause it is setting me up and she does not want to go there. 

So life has been busy.  Stressful.  A little crazy.  Maybe a bit grumpy.  As it is, it has taken all morning just to write this.  So I am off to change diapers and make lunches and read stories and do some tutoring of my own..........................

Cough cough.....sneeze sneeze

This week has been busy.  Not so much as with activities but more so with illness.  You see...I  have been fighting an uphill battle with all the germs going around lately. Stomach flu, virus', flu, pink eye, whooping cough, etc etc etc.  I have a better understanding of all those service men on the home fronts.  Oh I might not be fighting an army of men with guns but I AM fighting an army of germs coming in my door daily on the hands and mouths of little snotty nosed toddlers and school aged kids.  I can lysol and purel till I am coughing up fresh linen and have hands dry enough to look like a desert. It doesn't stop it from invading once I have a sick child sitting in the middle of the playroom!

Oh how I long for the days of summer!

This week alone I had one stomach virus, one flu and one "I don't know what my child has cause I didn't take them to the dr but they are all better after pumping them with Tylenol and hoping no one notices". 

I cringe at the sound of a sneeze!

Add in Megan was my 1st to come down sick.  It wasn't contagious.  She started out as a really bad allergy attack on and off over the last several weeks which turned into a sinus infection. I should have gone with my gut and made the dr appointment on Monday when she said her teeth hurt but I have been trying to encourage her to speak for herself rather than me doing it for her.  She is, after all, 15.

By Wed. she was in full bloom and I made the appointment.  She was given an antibiotic and sent on her way. By that night she was in pain.  We started hot tea and Advil and allergy meds around the clock.  Thurs she was home sick and unable to go to school.  And by Thur night/Friday morning (cause nothing of course happens when the dr office is open!) we were on our way to the ER as she was starting to pass out when standing.  We took the advise of a nurse friend of ours and gave her more Advil and iced her face which really helped.

Lesson learned....do not show up at the ER at 3am after Advil and ice and tell them that your pain level is a 1!  They look at you like your insane and are disturbing their rest!  But the ice helped and a pain level of 1 is what she proudly announced!  I so need to have a talk with my daughter on her drama performance in times on need like that!!

They gave her a new antibiotic which in turn was the change of the world for her!  By the time she woke she was feeling so much better.  It still took her the rest of the weekend to feel slightly normal and is still dealing with the tail end effects of it all but overall she is doing so much better.

Goes to show you that lysol is not the cure-all for everything.

Wouldn't life be so much simpler if it was!? I could just spray down everyone from head to toe at the 1st sneeze and make it all go away! Life would be full of no germs and the lovely invigorating fresh smell of Linen!

Course we might have issues with asthma but that is another story...........

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on.......ME!

It has been cold here lately.  Been hit with the northeast cold front for a good week now.  We are bundled in coats and sweaters and gloves.  Tis winter for sure! It has finally hit for the 1st time in about two years.  Last year I was in shorts this time of the year.  So I shouldn't complain.  Except......... when it blows up in my face.

 I keep my soda outside in the winter rather than take up space in the fridge ( you know where this is going, don't you? ) .  Yesterday I noticed it was a bit slushy but ok all the same. I kinda like it slushy anyway.  Like drinking a Coke Icee from the store.

Today I go out and notice one of the cans was upside down.  That should have been my 1st clue.  Took it inside, popped the lid and BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  In my face.....up to the ceiling.........across the kitchen.....on my floor..........hitting a daycare child who just stares at me with Coke in her hair like "What the!?"

I totally understood that expression!

I come out of my shock and laugh while I clean it all up.  It was not easy an easy task.  Soda covered the kitchen but I got it done.  Set out my lunch, went back out to get another can (this time making sure it was upright) and opened it..............BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*sigh* 

Yep. I did it again.

The dogs went running.  The sleeping baby in the other room roared her displeasure.  Ryan just stood there shaking his head and saying "Really mom?!"

No. I did NOT think it would do it again!

Don't judge me!

I spend my day with Barney and little kids.  I never said I was the brightest.

I can, however, say I am the thirstiest. 

It's COOKIE TIME!

Ok. If you know me or you have at least read my blog...or both...then you know I am kind of, sort of, in a way, competitive. I try to pretend it doesn't matter that I lose but the truth is I am secretly hoping to kick your butt at that board game and so want to laugh with glee when I do!  I try not to let it show cause I was always taught to not be a sore loser or winner for that matter.  But if you look you can see my smile, my bouncing in my seat and maybe even a giggle under my breath.  A few drinks of wine and you might even get an open laugh in your face-kicking your butt-I am so winning-dance. 

My name is Kimberly and I am a win-aholic.

So it should not surprise anyone that being a mom of a girl scout this time of the year is kinda turning me into that 'I am so kicking your butt' cookie mom! 

It started out as a general sale.  Then I got more orders.  And those orders turned into more orders and before I knew it, we had a presale order of 89 cookie boxes. I could feel that secret giggle coming up. It is like a high.  But I was being good cause, after all, this is all about being a troop and working together and sales were the whole group and good nature and learning skills and...........blah blah blah. 

Lets be honest here.....it is all about the cookie sale. It is all about who rings that door first and I WANT IT TO BE ME!

It doesn't help that we have a troop leader that likes to advertise that she is THE cookie mom.  She is THE big seller.  She is THE head leader, queen cookie, major-three-star cookie person and she was sitting on a throne made of shortbread and chocolate.  I so wanna giggle and push her butt off that shortbread throne while I...I mean....Delaney.....takes the new spot.  Yeah cause, um, it is all about Delaney and a learning experience.  Yeah.  That's right.

Well. We have sold 220 boxes of cookies in four days.  Yes you heard that right.  220 boxes in FOUR days!  And that doesn't include the sales from the cookie booth we did this weekend also.  I won't know the tally of the booths till the end but I do know we ain't doing bad!! And I know that we have a good four more weeks to go.

Last weekend we hit my mother in laws area.  It is mainly older people and few scouts.  All we heard was how no one comes to their doors anymore. Ah yes. I know!! *wink wink* I do know!

Next weekend we are off to the retirement developments.  Older people all condensed in one lovely area with no scouts in residence and who go shopping mainly in the afternoons when girl scouts are at school. Little old ladies and men who love cute little Brownie scouts.....and cookies. Um hum.  I know where my cha-ching fix is!  And cookie momma is coming!

I shall prevail.........mwahhaaaaaaaaaaa! We shall sell the cookies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 On a serious note, Delaney is truly doing a wonderful job.  She is hauling those cookies, smiling and talking to people like she has never done before.  She has sold cookies to friends and family and teachers.  Sold to neighbors.  Sold at cookie booths and sold to strangers.  And been a trooper the whole way.  Sunday, when we walked around Grandmoms neighborhood, we walked for three hours pulling a wagon and ringing doorbells.  She never complained.  She sold till we had little left in the wagon to sell and after fill up many times along the way.  I am proud of her. 

 Although, I am wondering if she just might have some of mommas need for a win cause what 7 year old walks for three hours and never complains? Says thank you and moves on to the next house? Yeah.....maybe just a tiny bit like mommy.  It is all about learning skills along the way.

(And maybe beating Cookie Momma too!)

MENDING

I come from a broken family.

There.  I said it.

I never really thought of my life that way as a kid.  My Grandparents worked hard to make things rather perfect.  We lived in the same house almost most of my life.  We had picnics and family vacations and game nights.  We cuddled on the sofa and watched movies and laughed at dinner time.  I was in the school band and did sleep overs and laid in the hammock on summer days eating watermelon and watching the clouds roll by.  I felt safe and secure and life was normal.  I can't say I ever felt like my family was broken.

I have come to realize though that trying to make everything all rainbows and sunshine doesn't really hide the reality of life.  The world is full of bad things and people.  Feelings get hurt.  Memories engraved.  Hearts broken.  Anger suppressed.  Making life as perfect as you can doesn't hide the truth.

I am grateful for the childhood I did have.  I can't say I would change anything cause....well....it was normal to me.  But the reality is......

My family is broken.

What I find sad is that many more memories were missed out on.  People passed by.  Moments stolen that can not be returned.  People hurt by the actions of another.  Souls that cannot be mended. Pretending that everything is perfect doesn't really face the truth in the end and doesn't allow one to truly heal.

I understand my Grandparents thinking.  One wants to protect.  But you really cannot. 

I will be honest and say what I haven't said in all my life.  I have held onto hurts over the years that I tried to hide behind watermelon summers and family game nights.  That I suppressed because they didn't really mean anything.  Or so I told myself.  I have met someone else like that.  Someone who doesnt' believe that the actions of another mattered.  But they do.  We can hide behind things and words but.....they do.

I believe that there is a reason for everything.  I once looked for my mother in the hopes of finding answers to hurts that were hidden.  I never had the opportunity to do so as she has passed away before I found her.  I struggled with this because I wanted answers.  I NEEDED answers.  There had to be something to explain how I felt.  But I won't be getting them.  What I found was someone else also struggling.  Perhaps a little lost like me.

I don't believe I was meant to find those answers I sought. I don't think I was meant to find my mother. I think perhaps my answers are in the feelings and understandings of another who can comprehend where I am too.  That perhaps we can reach out to each other and not, perhaps, understand the actions of another but to understand the feelings of each other.  We can't answer for another person.  But we can listen and understand where each of us are.

My father came back into my life.  I have come to realize that sometimes things are beyond our control.  That sometimes we wish we could change the past.  That the actions of others can alter forever and break hearts.

My brother came into my life.  We are on a new journey.  Taking slow steps and learning as we go.

In the end, as we slowly come together, heal and find peace in each other, I think that we might just be....normal.  No family is perfect.  There is no watermelon summers without all the other things that come with being a family.  We are all unique and special and frustrating and odd and perfect and loving and hurtful and imperfect as about every other family in the world. We are NOT perfect.  We ARE, however, family.

We might be broken but we are together and that is about as perfect a family as one can be!

Photos of the day.........

 Megan blow drying her hair.  I believe this needs little more said!

Delaney at Megans soccer awards ceremony.  And I do believe her face says exactly what we were all thinking! "WHEN is this thing over?!"

 Puppy vs. Child.  Puppy wins!

Congrats Megan! Great job!

COOKIE TIME

IT'S GIRL SCOUT COOKIE TIME!!

 

Delaney is selling Girl Scout cookies for her brownie troop.   Below is the list of cookies available.  Anyone interesed, let me know before the yummy runs out!

 

 We will deliver!

 

Delaney (and Kimberly)

 

All varieties are $4.00 per box and there are 12 boxes in a case.
 

Savannah Smiles™

Savannah Smiles™ are a lemony delight to celebrate 100 years of Girl Scouting. 

Samoas®

Tender vanilla cookies, covered with caramel, rolled in toasted coconut and striped with a rich, chocolaty coating.

Trefoils™

Delicate-tasting shortbread that is simple and satisfying.

Thank U Berry Munch™

Real, premium cranberries provide a delightful tartness in these hearty cookies sweetened with creamy, white fudge chips.  Crispy rice delivers a satisfying crunch.  Thank U for supporting Girl Scouts.

Thin Mints

A thin wafer covered with a smooth chocolaty coating. Made with natural peppermint.

Tagalongs®

Tasty cookies topped with creamy peanut butter and covered with a luscious chocolaty coating.

Do-Si-Dos®

Crisp and crunchy oatmeal cookies with creamy peanut butter filling. No artificial color or flavor.

Dulce de Leche

Inspired by the classic confections of Latin America, these sweet, bite-size cookies are rich with milk caramel chips.