But it got me to thinking on my insane fear of insects. I don't mean ants or bumble bees. They are useless creatures just out for their own benefits. I mean creepy crawly black flying things that attack you. I know you are thinking I am insane. But I KNOW they are out to get me. Have you ever run from a hornet? They know you are there. And they are coming for you! Black buggies and spiders are no different. Their goal I know is to seek, hunt and attack. Just because they are small doesn't make them any less dangerous.
I know I have an huge problem when I tend to get the same rush one gets when they are about to be thrown down that steep incline on a roller coaster. That adrenaline rush that grips your stomach insides (including that recently eaten hotdog), makes you break out in a sweat and scream all the way down....yeah like that. But at least you know at the end of the ride you will be laughing. When you are attacked by a furry jumping black spider...not so much fun.
I remember one night in our old house, I turned on a light and saw a black bug. Dunno what it was and again I don't care. I was home alone as Todd was working late back then. I whipped off my shoe and got in combat stance only to have the thing have the nerve to run and hide. How dare he! I was the one who was scared! I was the one that stood there shaking and about to throw up from my nerves. It should be ME running and hiding. Least he could do was stay there so I could wack it! Fight like a bug!
As my thoughts churned, I knew I could not just shut the light off and go to bed. Which was my 1st and safest thought. But my kids were in their rooms sleeping. That thing could come down the hall. Todd was not home. I had to do something. My family was depending on me. So I ran and got some bug spray I had and one of Todd's size 12 shoes....pushed up my sleeves....and prepared.
The spray was for ants. Not black crawly things. I knew it would not kill it. I had only a few seconds where the spray would just stun it and I could attack. There was no room for error. Aside from the fact that I was scared to death and breaking out in a sweat so bad I could have probably fainted, I think I did rather well!
I sprayed the thing out of its hiding spot and attacked. It took me several tries. He was tricky. Obviously had many years of combat training where I was a rookie. He swerved left. I ran right. He skurried straight. I ran back. He came at me. I screamed. But I finally had the open opportunity and......... WHAM!
After I took a few minutes to catch my breath so I wouldn't indeed pass out, I sprayed the whole kitchen and hall just to be safe. I might have even sprayed myself. Not sure. And since I knew that creature came from under the garage door (cause I had been telling my lovely DH to put a sweep under the door for a while! HELLO!) I put a towel there to just be safe. Cause bath towels are a major deterent to bugs just in case anyone didn't know that. I didn't care. I felt safer for my effort.
I bet you are wondering what happened to the black creepy crawlie though. Oh he was still there under my husbands size 12 shoe. With a note on it for DH to take care of it cause there was NO way I was going to touch it! Even with a papertowel and it being already smooshed. I could only take so much after all! I had done my job. I was the front line. Todd could come in and be the clean up crew!
Myself....I left the lights on just in case and proudly walked off to bed. I know I saved my family that day with my super human efforts. It was time to put my hero cape away and go back to just plain old mom! But I know what I did. And those bugs now know better than to mess with ME!
Well...except for that spider thing with wings this morning. But I took him out too!
Don't mess with a super hero!
At least not one armed with a size 12 shoe and a can of bug spray!
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